National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

We have all had our Clark Griswold moments during the Christmas season. Driving all over the valley to find the biggest, best Christmas tree.  Having the brightest, most colorful display of Christmas lights in the neighborhood. But who is this Clark Griswold I speak of? Why, Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) the overly exuberant, cheerfully optimistic father and husband who moviegoers first met in Harold Ramis's NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION (1983). In VACATION, Griswold led his weary family on a cross country summer odyssey to the amusement park Wally World. Clark Griswold, his wife Ellen, and their two children Rusty and Audrey are back to poke fun at the busiest, happiest, most stressful holiday of the year in NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989) directed by Canadian Jeremiah Chechik.

VACATION, EUROPEAN VACATION (1985), and CHRISTMAS VACATION were written by John Hughes who started out as a writer for the satirical magazine National Lampoon. Hughes, also a director, was best known for having his finger on the pulse of teenagers. Hughes wrote and directed SIXTEEN CANDLES (1984), THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985), and FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF (1986), comedies that captured the angst and awkwardness that comes with becoming a teenager. But Hughes also understood adults and with the VACATION films, he found his Universal Dad, the Everyman Father in Clark Griswold as portrayed by SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE veteran Chevy Chase. Griswold loves his wife Ellen (Beverly D'Angelo) and kids Rusty (Johnny Galecki) and Audrey (Juliette Lewis). He works hard. He believes in family values and tradition. A co-worker calls Clark the "last true family man." The family car is a station wagon. Clark sees the sunny side of things. He's a glass half full kind of guy. But he's a klutz. He's not very handy. His epic ideas like putting up Christmas lights (and trying to get them to work) becomes an epic struggle, resorting to using a staple gun to secure all 250 strands of light bulbs around his house.

CHRISTMAS VACATION is actually not another Griswold vacation.  It takes place in their neighborhood, at their house, somewhere in suburban Chicago, Illinois.  As Clark proclaims, "It's a Griswold Family Christmas." But it's a hectic time of the year for the Griswolds. Clark is anxious to receive his Christmas bonus from his miserly boss Frank Shirley (Brian Doyle-Murray) as Clark has already put a down payment on a swimming pool he can't afford. Both Clark's parents Clark, Sr. (John Randolph) and Nora (Diane Ladd) and Ellen's parents Art (E.G. Marshall) and Francis (Doris Roberts) are coming to stay with them over the Christmas holiday. And Clark is determined to have the best Christmas tree (it's way too big for the house) and the best Christmas lights display in the neighborhood (the lights draw so much power he nearly causes a blackout in his town).

But the Griswold family holiday gets even nuttier for Clark when Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid from the first VACATION film) shows up unannounced in his RV with his wife Catherine (Miriam Flynn) and their two kids Rocky (Cody Burger) and Ruby Sue (Ellen Hamilton Latzen) to also spend Christmas with the Griswolds. Eddie's out of work and they have no money for gifts for their children. Rounding out the family affair are Uncle Lewis (William Hickey) and Aunt Bethany (Mae Questel) who Clark picks up from the airport.

Christmas Eve arrives and all hell breaks loose. Aunt Bethany's cat (who she absent-mindedly wrapped and brought as a gift) bites into the Christmas tree lights and electrocutes itself. Uncle Lewis accidentally burns up the Christmas tree with his cigar. The Christmas turkey is too dry and implodes. And when Clark's bonus check arrives at the last moment, it's not a bonus at all. Clark goes berserk, cursing his boss which sends Cousin Eddie off to kidnap Frank Shirley from his mansion and wife (Natalia Nogulich) and bring him back to face the Griswold family's wrath.

Writer Hughes likes to have fun with the rites of family (summer vacation, Christmas holiday, a European vacation).  CHRISTMAS VACATION is a bit less vulgar than VACATION. It has some funny physical comedy bits especially with Clark trying to put up the lights or a squirrel running loose in the Griswold household. But underneath some of the crude jokes, cousin Eddie's potty mouth, or Uncle Lewis's bad toupee, there is a sweet Christmas story to be found. There's a heartwarming sequence after Clark is accidentally stuck in the family attic as the others go shopping (a precursor to the Hughes scripted 1990 HOME ALONE) where he discovers a box of Super 8 movies including Christmas with his parents back in 1955. It's a wonderful moment amongst the Christmas chaos. And, Clark and Ellen helping out their less fortunate cousins is a very real everyday Christmas moment as millions of people around the world struggle to provide even one gift for their children or loved ones.  CHRISTMAS VACATION does have a heart.

The Christmas film genre has transitioned from classic holiday fare like IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946) or WHITE CHRISTMAS (1954) to dysfunctional families either celebrating Christmas or avoiding Christmas like the recent CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS (2004) or FOUR CHRISTMASES (2008). The success of CHRISTMAS VACATION may have started the trend. For the Griswolds, it's more their relatives who are dysfunctional than them. But Chechik and Hughes don't entirely bail on the traditional Christmas tales we used to. Clark's miserly boss Frank Shirley hearkens back to another well-known grumpy Christmas character, Charles Dickens' Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol.

It's hard to believe there have been four VACATION films. VACATION (1983), EUROPEAN VACATION (1985), CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989), and VEGAS VACATION (1997). The VACATION series owes its longevity to Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold, the perpetually positive patriarch. Chase's facial mannerisms and gift of physical comedy (a bit with tree sap on his hand is priceless) lift the VACATION franchise above similar family type comedies. The beautiful Beverly D'Angelo dutifully presides as wife Ellen, Clark's partner in all things fun. Ellen goes along with Clark's crazy plans, never blowing her top although she occasionally voices her displeasure.

Incredibly, the VACATION series has had four different Rusty's and Audrey's in each VACATION film. While Clark and Ellen grow older, Rusty and Audrey stay eternally young. Johnny Galecki (now on TVs THE BIG BANG THEORY) plays Rusty in CHRISTMAS VACATION but other Rusty's include Anthony Michael Hall, Jason Lively, and Ethan Embry. Juliette Lewis (CAPE FEAR, KALIFORNIA) who plays Audrey Griswold is probably the most well known of the other Audrey's. Dana Barron, Dana Hill, and Marisol Nichols have played the Audrey part in the other VACATION films.

Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie almost steals the film from Chevy Chase. Chase and Quaid are hilarious in their scenes together. Redneck Eddie is the quintessential relative from hell but Quaid gives Eddie some pathos that I didn't recall in the original VACATION. The grandparents are played by familiar character actors E.G. Marshall (12 ANGRY MEN, CREEPSHOW), Doris Roberts (Ray Romano's Mom on TV'S EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND), Diane Ladd (CHINATOWN, mother of actress Laura Dern), and John Randolph (PRIZZI'S HONOR).

Brian Doyle-Murray (Bill Murray's older brother) does a nice turn as the Scrooge like CEO Frank Shirley. Doyle-Murray also made an appearance in the first VACATION. Look for SEINFELD and VEEP'S star Julia Louise-Dreyfus in an early role as one of Hughes' favorite targets, a young Yuppie neighbor Margo Chester who along with her equally annoying husband Todd Chester (Nicholas Guest) fall victim to some of Clark's holiday festivities.

CHRISTMAS VACATION is uneven at times. The mean boss plot disappears and pop up at infrequent times and the yuppie neighbors almost serve no purpose.  A scene with Clark flirting with a buxom department store clerk Mary (Nicolette Scorsese) is a silly attempt to recreate Clark's flirtation with Christie Brinkley as the Girl in the Ferrari in the original VACATION. The CHRISTMAS VACATION flirtation scene is forced and goes on uncomfortably too long.

If director Jeremiah Chechik's names doesn't ring a bell, you're not alone. I had never heard of him either. Chechik had a brief, eclectic run of feature films with CHRISTMAS VACATION followed by BENNY & JOON (1993) with Johnny Depp and the remake of DIABOLIQUE (1996) with Sharon Stone.  But his run ended with the ill-fated movie version of the English spy TV show THE AVENGERS (1998) starring Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, and Sean Connery. Chechik moved to television where he has directed various TV shows including a stint on NBC's CHUCK recently.

You can't keep a good franchise down even with Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo growing older. A new VACATION directed by John Frances Daley and Jonathan M. Goldstein came out in 2015 with Rusty Griswold (now played by Ed Helms) grown up and taking his family on the same cross country road trip to Wally World. Chase and D'Angelo appear as Clark and Ellen. A new generation gets to meet the Griswolds but for CrazyFilmGuy my loyalty lies with the original Griswold family.

I think myself and most adults can relate to Clark Griswold in CHRISTMAS VACATION.  We all build up these amazing traditions that we experienced with our parents to our kids such as drinking egg nog, building a miniature Christmas village, or reading Twas the Night Before Christmas in front of a roaring fire. We think our children will have the same excitement for these traditions that we had but that's not always the case. It takes time. Ultimately, the younger generation learns to embrace tradition while creating new ones as well. CHRISTMAS VACATION makes fun of family and tradition during the holiday season but in the end, that's what's most important. Not fancy gifts or bonuses or the brightest Christmas light.  It's family.

Ball of Fire (1941)

One of life's greatest treasures is to be surprised. I chose BALL OF FIRE (1941) because I was looking for a Gary Cooper film to watch but some unexpected surprises sprang from this choice. Cooper is an American screen icon from the 1930's thru the 1950's. Kevin Costner always reminds me of a modern day Gary Cooper. I have only seen Cooper in a couple of films in my life time --Frank Capra's MEET JOHN DOE (1941) and Fred Zinnemann's HIGH NOON (1952) and that was back in college. So I chose BALL OF FIRE because it had Gary Cooper as well as Barbara Stanwyck, a good strong leading lady. But as I watched it, three other surprises popped up to make it extra special. 1) I had no idea it was directed by one of my favorites Howard Hawks (THE BIG SLEEP, RIO BRAVO). 2) Its original screenplay is by another of my favorite directors Billy Wilder (SUNSET BOULEVARD, SOME LIKE IT HOT) and his partner Charles Brackett (from a story by Wilder and Thomas Monroe). 3) It has an incredible array of supporting actors, some of them memorable and familiar to film buffs from other classic movies.

BALL OF FIRE is a perfect vehicle for director Howard Hawks who had previously directed some of the best screwball comedies in Hollywood like BRINGING UP BABY (1938) and HIS GIRL FRIDAY (1940).  And with a script co-written by Billy Wilder (who would soon be directing his own scripts), the creative firepower of Hawks and Wilder behind BALL OF FIRE is impressive. Ironically, the lead character of Professor Bertram Potts in BALL OF FIRE seems tailor made for Cary Grant. Grant played the leads in both Hawks' BRINGING UP BABY and HIS GIRL FRIDAY.  But Potts is an introverted, erudite man, perfect for Gary Cooper who's acting style is a bit more reserved than Grant's.

I dare anyone to convince me BALL OF FIRE would be made today. Listen to this synopsis. A group of eight esteemed professors (who also happen to be bachelors) led by the younger Professor of English Bertram Potts (Gary Cooper) have been working nine years on a new encyclopedia funded by the Daniel S. Totten Foundation run by the late Daniel Totten's daughter Miss Totten (Mary Field). The seven other professors include Professor Gurkakoff (Oskar Holmoka), Prof. Jerome (Henry Travers), Prof. Magenbruch (S.K. Sakall), Prof. Robinson (Tully Marshall), Prof. Quintana (Leonid Kinskey), Prof. Oddly (Richard Haydn), and Prof. Peagram (Aubrey Mather). When a Garbage Man (Allen Jenkins) walks into their New York brownstone using all kinds of current slang that none of the professors recognize, Potts realizes his encyclopedia section on slang is outdated. Potts ventures out into New York to learn the latest slang visiting a newspaper stand, a train car, a baseball game, and a pool hall taking notes.

When Potts stumbles upon nightclub singer Sugarpuss O'Shea (Barbara Stanwyck) singing catchy, slang-filled songs (like Drum Boogie), he visits her dressing room after the show to invite her to join his slang research project. Sugarpuss declines. Unbeknown to Potts, Sugarpuss is also gangster Joe Lilac's (Dana Andrews) moll. Lilac is under suspicion for the murder of a rival. Worried that Sugarpuss might tell the cops something about his relationship with the dead man when questioned, Lilac sends his two lieutenants Duke Pastrami (Dan Duryea) and Asthma Anderson (Ralph Peters) to grab Sugarpuss and hide her. With no place to go, Sugarpuss remembers Potts' invitation and business card. She decides to hide out in the brownstone with Potts, seven middle-aged professors, and one unhappy den mother Miss Bragg (Kathleen Howard).

The professors are thrilled to have a young, leggy nightclub singer sleeping over. Their academic world gets turned upside down as Sugarpuss teaches them to dance the conga. Potts conducts his round table on slang with Sugarpuss, the Garbage Man, and the others. Sugarpuss finds herself falling for Potts and Potts for Sugarpuss. Lilac's still nervous that Sugarpuss might testify against him so he sends her a gigantic wedding ring. Both men want to marry her. Hiding out in New Jersey, Lilac calls the house. A conflicted Sugarpuss has Potts talk to Lilac. Potts thinks Lilac is Sugarpuss's father. Potts asks Sugarpuss to marry him, giving her a very small engagement ring. Lilac tricks Potts, asking him to bring Sugarpuss to New Jersey for the wedding. Potts, Sugarpuss, and the seven professors head to New Jersey for the big day. They get in a car accident and end up at a hotel where Lilac and his men show up. Lilac spills the beans that Sugarpuss is his girl. He punches Potts to prove his point.

Typical of a screwball comedy, BALL OF FIRE ends with a frenetic flourish. Sugarpuss realizes she is in love with Potts. But the newspapers have gotten a hold of Sugarpuss's story, bringing scandal to Potts and the encyclopedia project. Miss Totten prepares to shut the project down. But Pastrami and Asthma show up at the house with guns, threatening to kill Potts and the others if Sugarpuss doesn't marry Lilac. But the brainy professors use their brains, borrowing the theory of the Sword of Damocles to overtake the hoods. As Lilac prepares to wed Sugarpuss in New Jersey, Potts and the professors show up for a final funny confrontation.

If the eight professors in BALL OF FIRE reminds you of the seven dwarves from SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES (1937) it's not a coincidence (Joe Lilac even cracks that Sugapuss is "hiding out with the 7 Dwarves"). If you don't count Potts who's younger than the other seven, the seven professors are a human version of Disney's animated characters. Hawks and Wilder/Brackett ingeniously give each professor a particular specialty.  They're not Sleepy or Grumpy or Happy.  But Prof. Oddly is an expert in botany and Prof. Robinson with law and Prof. Jerome with geography and so on. Hawks casts very specific character actors for each professor to make them unique.  Oskar Holmoka as Prof. Gurkakoff with his unibrow and thick Eastern European accent. S.K. Sakall and his rotund body and bifocals. Henry Travers and his cherubic cheeks. Richard Haydn as Prof. Oddly and his nasally inflection. One could say Sugarpuss is Snow White. She comes into their brownstone like Snow White falling asleep in the seven dwarves cottage and mesmerizing the middle-aged, female deprived scholars.

BALL OF FIRE is in many ways a film about words. Author Damon Runyon would appreciate how good Wilder and Brackett's script is on so many levels weaving slang and grammar throughout the story. Slang plays an integral part to the plot. Major and minor characters talk colorfully throwing out slang like gams (legs), moolah (money), puss (face), bull (police), Loserville (just like it sounds), corn (old fashioned), and yum yum (kiss) to name just a few. The names of characters are word play. Joe Lilac. Duke Pastrami. Asthma Anderson. Benny the Creep. Sugarpuss O'Shea. Professor Oddly. Some match their names; some names are ironic. Gangster Lilac is no flower. But Sugarpuss does have a sweet face.

And, for a film about writing an encyclopedia by eight professors with expertise in geography, history, language, astronomy, etc. BALL OF FIRE writers Wilder and Brackett reference Newton's Law of Gravity, Shakespeare's Richard III, poet William Blake's poem The Tyger ("Tyger Tyger, burning bright"), the Sword of Damocles (a Greek moral about a sword suspended by a single horse hair over a king's throne epitomizing the peril of those in power), Sigmund Freud (and the subconscious) and the thinly veiled comparison of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves to Potter/Sugarpuss and the 7 Professors. It's a masterful screenplay that mixes the academic with the street wise. Wilder liked having fun with gangster characters and would incorporate gangsters and the St. Valentine's Massacre into his comedy SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959).

Gary Cooper was already having quite a year in 1941 appearing in Hawks SERGEANT YORK and Frank Capra's MEET JOHN DOE (where coincidentally his co-star was also Barbara Stanwyck) before finishing up the year with BALL OF FIRE. Hawks liked to cast handsome leading men like Cary Grant or Cooper as introverted, socially awkward scholars. Professor Potts seems right up Cary Grant's alley but he had already played a similar character in BRINGING UP BABY. Cooper handles the role with aplomb and the right bit of Midwestern innocence.
 

I only knew Barbara Stanwyck from her femme fatale role in Billy Wilder's DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944) and later as the matriarch on TV's THE BIG VALLEY (1965 to 1969). But Stanwyck was already an accomplished comic actress having appeared in Preston Sturges' THE LADY EVE (also 1941) and the before mentioned MEET JOHN DOE. Stanwyck is flat out sexy in BALL OF FIRE as Sugarpuss O'Shea, flashing more leg throughout the film than all the Radio City Rockettes combined. Stanwyck's Sugarpuss is also another example of the Hawksian woman (named after director Howard Hawks). Hawks's female characters are almost like one of the boys only with breasts and shapely legs. Sugarpuss can sing and dance but she talks and drinks and even knocks out Miss Bragg like one of the guys. Stanwyck is right up there with other Hawksian women like Lauren Bacall (TO HAVE AND HAVE NOT) and Angie Dickinson (RIO BRAVO). Stanwyck's Sugarpuss O'Shea is as one character describes her "a ball of fire."

BALL OF FIRE is filled with an array of great supporting actors that compliment the film and story. Many are recognizable faces that film fans will recall from other memorable films. The professor roles are a Who's Who of character actors. There's Henry Travers, most famous as Clarence the Angel from Frank Capra's IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946), as Prof. Jerome. Oskar Homolka, as Prof. Gurkakoff, played the bomb maker in Alfred Hitchcock's SABOTAGE (1936). S.K. Sakall as Prof. Magenbruch will always be remembered as the kind hearted Carl in Michael Curtiz's CASABLANCA (1942). And Richard Haydn, who excels as the nasal toned Prof. Oddly, played Captain von Trapp's friend Max Detweiler in THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965).

I came across actor Dana Andrews at the end of his career as the ill-fated small airplane pilot in AIRPORT 1975 (1974). Andrews usually played good guys like the detective in Otto Preminger's LAURA (1944) but in BALL OF FIRE he plays gangster Joe Lilac. It's a nice comic turn by Andrews. And who can forget the obnoxious laugh and whiny voice of Dan Duryea who plays Duke Pastrami. Duryea appeared in everything -- westerns, dramas, film noirs, but he shows he can play comedy as well. Even some of the lesser known supporting actors play their roles to perfection: Allen Jenkins as the Garbage Man, Kathleen Howard as Miss Bragg, and Charles Lane as the lawyer Mr. Larsen. Even the versatile Elisha Cook, Jr. makes a brief appearance as a Waiter at the club where Sugarpuss performs. Cook appeared in hundreds of films and TV shows. Besides working with director Howard Hawks on BALL OF FIRE, Cook worked with many of the great directors including John Huston, Stanley Kubrick, and Roman Polanski.

The talent involved with BALL OF FIRE doesn't end with the director, writer, or actors. The great Director of Photography Gregg Toland lensed BALL OF FIRE, one of the few comedies he ever did. Toland was a master with black and white photography having shot John Ford's THE GRAPES OF WRATH (1940) and Orson Welles' masterpiece CITIZEN KANE (1941). Toland tragically died much too young at the age of 44. And Edith Head's costumes especially for Barbara Stanwyck are glitzy and sexy for 1941, making sure to highlight Stanwyck's gams, er I mean legs.

So why is a film like BALL OF FIRE with the A list talent of Howard Hawks, Billy Wilder, Gary Cooper, and Barbara Stanwyck not mentioned as a classic in the same breath as a BRINGING UP BABY, HIS GIRL FRIDAY, or SOME LIKE IT HOT? It might be that 1941 was a terrific year for films. CITIZEN KANE, THE MALTESE FALCON, and HOW GREEN WAS MY VALLEY were all released in 1941 and those are just the dramas. 1941 was also an exceptional year for comedies including MEET JOHN DOE, SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS, and HERE COMES MR. JORDAN. And it probably hurt that BALL OF FIRE was released toward the end of the year in December of 1941. I had never heard of BALL OF FIRE until I stumbled across it on Turner's Classic Movies but I am so glad I did.  Surprise yourself and watch it if you come across some this screwball comedy some afternoon.

Creepshow (1982)

If I had been born in the 1940's, I have no doubt I would have bought the horror EC comic books that George Romero's CREEPSHOW (1982) so lovingly pays homage to. EC (for Entertaining Comics) were popular from the 1940's thru mid-1950's specializing in crime fiction, science fiction, and most notably horror fiction including the popular Vault of Horror and Tales from the Crypt. Censorship issues would force publisher William Gaines to ultimately concentrate on the humor magazine MAD.

TALES FROM THE CRYPT would become a popular HBO anthology series running from 1989 to 1996 but CREEPSHOW helped usher it in several years earlier. The brainchild of horror titans director George Romero (NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, DAWN OF THE DEAD) and horror novelist Stephen King (Salem's Lot, The Shining), CREEPSHOW is inspired by the horror EC comics. Director Romero's approach to CREEPSHOW is very different than the documentary feel he gave NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968). CREEPSHOW is more stylized with scenes taking place in comic panels, scenes flipping from one to another like a comic book, tilted angles, and garish colors (blue, green, red) when a shock or violent act happens on screen. CREEPSHOW is literally a visual comic book.

I actually own this nice companion book to the movie

With original stories by Stephen King, Romero delivers gruesome tales that would feel right at home in an EC horror magazine. Five stories filled with greedy relatives, vengeful corpses, monsters from the North Pole, waterlogged adulterers, things from another planet, and a despicable millionaire who gets his comeuppance. CREEPSHOW has established actors like Hal Holbrook, E.G. Marshall, and Viveca Lindfors providing respectability to this horror film. It also showcases early performances by now famous actors like Ed Harris (THE RIGHT STUFF, APOLLO 13) and Ted Danson (BODY HEAT, TV's CHEERS). Let's take a look at each of the five frightful stories (if you dare!).

FATHER'S DAY - When I first saw this opening segment many years ago, it was one of my favorites but upon recent review, Father's  Day might be the clunkiest of the five creepy tales. Father's Day relates the tale of rich, eccentric great Aunt Bedelia (Viveca Lindfors) who's heading to the Grantham house for an annual dinner in honor of her late father Nathan Grantham (Jon Lormer). Bedelia's bored and restless relatives - Aunt Sylvia (Carrie Nye), nephew Richard (Warner Shook), and niece Cass (Elizabeth Regan) wait and gossip about the rumor that Bedelia murdered the stubborn, cantankerous patriarch with an ash tray as he screamed "Where's my cake!!!"  and pounded his cane on his wheelchair. Overwhelmed with guilt, Bedelia stops to visit her father's grave just outside the house only to have his corpse scratch and claw out of his grave and strangle her.

When Bedelia doesn't show, Cass's boyfriend Hank Blaine (Ed Harris) goes outside to have a smoke. He stumbles (literally) into Nathan's now empty grave, landing next to Bedelia's lifeless body before the headstone crashes onto Hank's head. Father's Day ends with the perfect horror climax as the zombie father Nathan goes on a rampage as the birthday cake is prepared, entering the dining room with Sylvia's severed head on a tray, birthday candles adorning her like a halo, moaning "I got my cake!"

Father's Day has all the ghoulishness a horror fan craves with greedy relatives and a decaying zombie but this opening episode stumbles out of the gate with too many characters at the beginning. The relatives and their relationships to great Aunt Bedelia are confusing. The corpse/zombie makeup by Makeup FX wizard Tom Savini in Father's Day should be the high point in the story but it's Savini's least interesting creation in the film. But the finale is good and an appearance by the young Ed Harris as Cass's boyfriend is noteworthy. Harris also worked with George Romero in KNIGHTRIDERS (1981), a modern day mashing of Camelot and motorcycle gangs.

THE LONESOME DEATH OF JORDY VERILL - Consequently, The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill was my least favorite story the first time I saw CREEPSHOW but upon a new viewing, I found Jordy Verrill to be funny and sadly touching at the same time. Stephen King (the author of CREEPSHOW'S screenplay and countless horror novels) plays Jordy, the luckless farmer. Originally, I thought Jordy should have been played by a more experienced actor like Harry Dean Stanton but King's Jordy is sympathetic and King shows a nice comic touch and expressive face (he was probably cheaper to use than Stanton as well). King can actually act.

A meteor crashes behind the Maine farm house of Jordy Verrill (Stephen King) one summer night. With visions of selling the meteor to the local college for $200 dancing in his head, Jordy touches the hot, smoking meteor. When he pours water on it to cool it off, it cracks into two. "You lunkhead," Jordy chides himself, watching his riches fade away. Jordy washes the meteor gunk off his hands but soon develops blisters. The next morning, he awakens to find a thick moss growing on his tongue, fingers, and other parts of his body. In fact, his entire farm and the inside and outside of his home are covered with the extraterrestrial weed.

Jordy is a born loser. His one shot at fame and money turns to grass...literally. It's a good thing The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill has a funny performance from King because it's the most depressing story in this anthology. With Jordy's farm and land and house and his entire body covered in space moss spawned from the meteor, Jordy has only one choice : kill himself. Jordy manages to not screw up his own suicide and points the shotgun at his moss covered head, ending his sad existence.

SOMETHING TO TIDE YOU OVER -- Titles are important to a good short horror story and Something to Tide You Over and the last segment They're Creeping Up on You are excellent examples. Something to Tide You Over is a play on words, a seemingly innocent phrase but the key word Tide has a more malevolent meaning.  Leslie Nielsen (AIRPLANE and THE NAKED GUN) is creepy in a non-comedic role as the jealous husband determined to kill his cheating wife and her lover.

Richard Vickers (Leslie Nielsen) is not a happy man. His wife Becky Vickers (Gaylen Ross) is sleeping with Harry Wentworth (Ted Danson). Richard surprises Harry at his home, threatens to harm Becky if Harry doesn't come with him. Richard takes Harry to a secluded Jersey beach where he forces Harry by gunpoint to jump into a hole in the sand near the shoreline. Richard buries Harry up to his neck.  Richard sets up a television monitor and VCR plugged into his running jeep and shows Harry a video of Becky also buried up to her neck with sand as the tide comes in, submerging Becky's head under the incoming waves. Richard has the same terrible fate planned for Harry and drives away as high tide approaches.

Back in his beach house full of video monitors, Richard takes a shower, washing away his sins. But was that a sound outside? Armed with his hand gun, Richard opens the door to find the waterlogged, seaweed covered ghouls Harry and Becky back from the dead. Bullets can't kill them (they're already dead as seawater spills from the bullet wounds). Harry and Becky take Richard back to the beach where another hole in the sand awaits Richard. The segment ends with a hysterical Richard (also buried up to his neck) yelling "I can hold my breath for a long, long time" as the next tide rolls in.

Something to Tide You Over is my 2nd favorite segment in this anthology. It's a simple tale of revenge but with a twist. Leslie Nielsen who audiences are accustomed to seeing play comedic roles is vicious as the murderous husband. Nielsen began his career playing serious roles in films like FORBIDDEN PLANET (1956) and THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE (1972) before he caught the comedy bug in AIRPLANE! (1980). A young Ted Danson is excellent as the lover up to his neck in sand and saltwater. Danson's movie career had just got going with BODY HEAT (1981) and his CREEPSHOW appearance shows he was destined to shine. And Savini's makeup for the waterlogged, seaweed covered drowned lovers is wonderfully detailed, their faces prunish, having been submerged in the ocean for several hours before returning to torment Richard.

THE CRATE -- My favorite story in CREEPSHOW, The Crate gives us our first true monster but not in a setting we're accustomed to finding monsters. The Crate has three fine actors in Fritz Weaver, Hal Holbrook, and Adrienne Barbeau that enhance its appeal. These short horror stories are best told with a triangle of characters. The earlier Something to Tide You Over also succeeds with its three characters.

The Crate opens (so to speak) with custodian Mike Latimer (Don Keefer) discovering a crate under the crawlspace in the basement of Amberson Hall at Horlicks University. Stencilled on the side of the box are the words Arctic Expedition June 19th, 1834. Mike calls Professor of Zoology Dexter Stanley (Fritz Weaver) who's only to happy to escape a boring faculty picnic or watch his friend and colleague Henry Northrup (Hal Holbrook) be embarrassed by Henry's drunken, loud mouth wife Wilma (Adrienne Barbeau).

Dexter and Mike pry open the crate to discover an ape like creature with fangs living inside. The creature kills Mike in front of Dexter. Dexter stumbles upstairs and runs into graduate student Charlie Gereson (Robert Harper). Dexter rambles like a lunatic about a monster downstairs which piques Charlie's curiosity. Charlie the grad student gets too close to the crate where he's eaten by the arctic monkey (no indie rock band pun intended).

Dexter visits Henry and tells him the unbelievable story. Henry believes him and sees a chance to get rid of his abrasive, annoying wife Wilma. After drugging Dexter, Henry lures Wilma to the university basement with a note that Dexter has gotten himself into trouble with a college coed. Wilma shows up at the hall and meets her fate at the hands of the crate creature. There is no happy ending in these terrifying tales except for the cuckold husband Henry, free to play chess with Dexter.

The arctic creature in The Crate can be seen as a metaphor for Henry's id. He wants to get rid of his exasperating wife (she's a monster in her own way) and the creature is the physical representation of that desire. Dexter's irritation that Charlie the grad student wants to see the bloody murder scene leads to Charlie's demise. The Crate seems a playful homage to director John Carpenter and his film THE THING (also 1982). The name of the recipient on the crate is Julia Carpenter (perhaps a sly nod to John Carpenter). Carpenter's THE THING also takes place in the Arctic. And Hal Holbrook and Adrienne Barbeau (Carpenter's wife at the time) had appeared previously in Carpenter's THE FOG (1980). FX master Savini captures the perfect look of the crate creature -- a cross between an ape and the abominable snowman.

THEY'RE CREEPING UP ON YOU -- The final segment They're Creeping Up On You is not for the weak of heart or someone who has a fear of insects especially cockroaches. It preys on that fear and saves one of the biggest gross outs in CREEPSHOW for this final story of man versus insect.

So far the stories in CREEPSHOW have taken place in nice mansions, beach houses, rural farms, and a university basement. They're Creeping Up On You brings us to the city and a high rise building full of security cameras owned by millionaire Upson Pratt (E.G. Marshall). Pratt is a Howard Hughes like recluse with a fear of germs.  Pratt lives and runs his companies from his sterile, insect free penthouse apartment. Or is it bug free? Upton finds a cockroach scuttling across the floor. He steps on it, thinking it's the only one.

It's a crazy night as Pratt's company completes a corporate takeover of Pacific Aerodyne while a power outage threatens the city and Pratt's penthouse. Pratt wants the cockroaches out of his town house but they keep popping up everywhere. Mr. White (David Early), the night superintendent, can't promise Pratt exterminators will come until later that night. Pratt hides in his glass bedroom, all access locked and secure. Then, the power goes out. When power is restored, Pratt lies still on his bed. Is he sleeping? What's that scratching sound coming out of his nose?

Pratt treats people like insects, squashing lives like so many cockroaches. Pacific Aerodyne owner Castonmeyer (who commits suicide), Reynolds the building superintendent, Mrs. Castonmeyer, they're all just bugs to Pratt as he rails and sprays venom with his anger. Wearing a smock, medical mask, white gloves, and armed with a can of bug spray, Pratt's sterile, hermetically sealed world begins to slip away as he pays for his sins with the infiltration of cockroaches in his cereal, his jukebox, the sink, the lights, his bed, and ultimately his body.

There's a prologue and epilogue that begins and ends CREEPSHOW. Young Billy (Joe King, son of Stephen King) likes horror comic books like Creepshow. Stan (Tom Atkins),  Billy's abusive father, thinks their crap and tosses it into the garbage. In the epilogue, two garbage men (Tom Savini and Marty Schiff) find the comic book in the trash.  They notice a page has been ripped out next to the Voodoo Doll advertisement. Stan the father begins to have terrific pains in his neck and chest during breakfast. Upstairs, young Billy sticks needles into the voodoo doll of his father, payback for throwing away his Creepshow comic book.

Horror anthology movies often have a supernatural host to introduce the group of short features/shows just like the EC Comics did. CREEPSHOW has the Creep (originally I thought he was called the Spectre) who appears at the beginning of the film both as an animatronic puppet and an animated comic character. Later, TALES FROM THE CRYPT would have the Crypt Keeper (John Kassir) who opened and closed each CRYPT episode with a bad pun or joke about the title and plot.

Horror anthology movies are nothing new although anthologies tend to be more on television than in theaters (i.e. TV's THE TWILIGHT ZONE, OUTER LIMITS). The first horror anthology I saw was DEAD OF NIGHT (1945). In the 1960's, Roger Corman gave us TALES OF TERROR (1962) based on three Edgar Allen Poe stories starring Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, and Basil Rathbone. One of my favorite horror writers Robert Bloch (Psycho) had four of  his horror short stories made into Freddie Francis's TORTURE GARDEN (1967). Stephen King even got into the act with three of his short stories making up Lewis Teague's CAT'S EYE (1985). Most recently, TRICK 'R TREAT (2007) reintroduced the anthology concept interweaving four different stories on Halloween night. CREEPSHOW would even get a sequel CREEPSHOW 2 (1987) directed by CREEPSHOW
Director of Photography Michael Gornick with a screenplay by George Romero. CREEPSHOW 2 had only three segments based on Stephen King short stories.

There's something satisfying about CREEPSHOW. You get not one but five scary stories told all in the course of one movie. The audience gets a little taste of everything: suspense, monsters, and a little gore. George Romero and Stephen King were the kings of horror in film and books respectively. They love the source material and treat it with respect and admiration. The result is CREEPSHOW, a nifty horror film that makes you smile, cover your eyes, jump out of your seat, and occasionally glance behind you to make sure that creak wasn't a zombie or army of cockroaches coming to get you.

You Only Live Twice (1967)

"You only live twice. Once when you are born. And once when you look death in the face." (haiku written by James Bond in the Ian Fleming novel You Only Live Twice).

It took the 5th film in the James Bond series YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (1967) for Bond to finally visit Asia. He had already been to the Caribbean (twice), Turkey, and Switzerland but never to the Far East. As big a James Bond fan as I am, YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (1967), has never been one of my favorites. I've probably watched the first four Bond films over a dozen times each but YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE just a few times. The Japan locations never bowled me over nor did the Japanese actresses who played the Bond girls. And a plot device that has Bond made up to look like a Japanese fisherman was just plain goofy.  Bond looked like Jerry Lewis pretending to be Japanese (think THE GEISHA BOY).

But like all good things, a film like YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE that I didn't rate as highly when I was young and finicky deserves a second chance now that CrazyFilmGuy is wiser and mellower and more appreciative of films he originally scorned. A new screening of YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE reveals the filmmakers retreading some old Bond devices in new ways. The Japanese scenery and locations are actually very good (shot by David Lean's cinematographer Freddie Young). YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE finally reveals the face of the main villain behind SPECTRE'S diabolical plots, the cat loving, bald headed Dr. Ernst Stavro Blofeld (I'm curious to know where Blofeld got his doctor's degree). And, it's not often you get to say James Bond and Ninjas in the same breath.

After four solid hits, a franchise like James Bond is bound to hit a bump or two. YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE had a new director in Lewis Gilbert (either Terence Young or Guy Hamilton had directed the previous four films) and a new screenwriter in Roald Dahl (yes, the children's book author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and James and the Giant Peach.) Sean Connery had announced this was going to be his last James Bond film. Producers Albert "Cubby" Broccoli and Harry Saltzman had wanted to make Ian Fleming's On Her Majesty's Secret Service next but lack of snow forced them to go with Fleming's YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE instead.

YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE begins with the death of James Bond (Sean Connery)...or so it seems. Bond is supposedly murdered in bed (where else) in a Hong Kong hotel by two machine gun toting killers after sleeping with a Chinese girl Ling (Tsai Chin). Bond's death and elaborate funeral (he's buried at sea wrapped like a mummy only for his body to be taken by scuba divers to a waiting British submarine where he's revealed to be alive) is all an elaborate ruse to get Bond's enemies off his back so he can do some  undercover work in peace. A U.S. spaceship has vanished while orbiting the earth. Later, a Russian spacecraft will also disappear, both hijacked and gobbled up by a large mystery silver rocket ship. The Americans and Russians suspect each other. But the British represented by M (Bernard Lee) have detected a faint signal that something landed in Japan. M sends Bond to investigate before the U.S. and Russians start a nuclear war.

Bond meets up with his pretty but mysterious Japanese contact Aki (Akiko Wakabayashi) who brings him to Henderson (Charles Gray), a British agent familiar with Japan. Henderson suggests Bond work with the secretive Tiger Tanaka (Tetsuro Tamba), the head of the Japanese Secret Service. Henderson is stabbed in the back with a dagger before he can tell Bond more. Bond chases down and kills the assassin, grabbing the killer's coat and medical mask to assume his identity and climbs into the waiting getaway car. The car takes  Bond to Osato Chemical and Engineering. Bond steals some documents from Osato's safe and barely escapes, picked up by Aki.

Aki leads Bond to Tanaka. Bond asks Tanaka to look at the papers he stole from Osato Chemical. A microdot is found on one document, a photograph of a freighter called the Ning Po. Bond returns to Osato Chemical impersonating a businessman to learn more. His snooping leads Mr. Osato (Teru Shimada) to order his beautiful assistant Helga Brandt (Karin Dor) to have Bond killed. Once again, Aki races in to rescue Bond. Bond and Aki travel to the Kobe shipyards to check out the Ning Po and its contents -- rocket fuel. More photos of the freighter reveal its cargo disappeared somewhere in the islands of the Japanese archipelago.

With tensions running high between the U.S. and Russia and another U.S. launch imminent, Bond and his cohorts are running out of time as they canvas the islands, looking for a launching pad. A squadron of helicopters almost kill Bond during one reconnaissance flight in his mini-copter called "Little Nellie." Tanaka has Bond to disguise himself as a Japanese fisherman and marry a local girl (and agent for Tanaka) named Kissy (Mie Hama) to infiltrate the fishing village and discover where the rocket might be. Bond and Kissy discover SPECTRE's secret underground volcano base, hiding the rogue SPECTRE rocket. In charge of the global extortion (the Chinese are paying SPECTRE to start World War III between the U.S. and Russia) is none other than Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Donald Pleasence), SPECTRE's top man with Brandt and Osato by his side. Bond calls in Tanaka and his Ninja warriors as good battles evil in the enormous subterranean volcano lair in an impressive finale full of explosions and catapulting stuntmen.

All the James Bond films borrow and steal from previous Bond films but YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE is the first film to attempt it, making variations from the previous four films. In THUNDERBALL (1965), Bond's enemy Colonel Bouvar fakes his death to open the film. In TWICE, Bond fakes his own assassination. Tiger Tanaka, the man in charge of Japan's Secret Service, plays the role of sidekick that CIA Agent Felix Leiter performed in DR. NO (1962) and GOLDFINGER (1964). Bond's Aston Martin (tricked out with weaponry) is replaced by the mini-helicopter "Little Nellie" complete with two machine guns, two rocket launchers, two heat seeking missiles, two flamethrowers, and aerial mines. And when Bond needs help, Felix Leiter usually called in the reinforcements. In the case of TWICE, Tanaka brings an army of Ninjas. Bond trains with the Ninjas at their island training ground in TWICE. The Ninja training sequence is reminiscent to the SPECTRE training facility in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (1963).

Director Lewis Gilbert would even steal his own plot device from YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE and use it not only once in 1977's THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (the first Bond film I saw in a movie theater) but a second time in MOONRAKER (1979) one of the most disappointing films in the 007 series. The device in TWICE is the SPECTRE rocket ship that opens up like a Venus Fly Trap and gobbles up the American and Russian spaceships. In THE SPY WHO LOVED ME, it was a gigantic oil tanker that swallowed both a Russian and American nuclear submarine (and their crews) like Moby Dick. In MOONRAKER, Gilbert would return to space as American and Russian space shuttles (and their crews) were hijacked by a larger space shuttle (almost identical to YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE).

The  Bond films have always done a nice job of playing tour guide for the exotic countries Bond visited, highlighting the scenery and customs of various locations but director Gilbert and writer Dahl make the Japan Tourist Board proud in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE. A wonderfully staged scene in a jam packed arena has Bond taking in a sumo wrestling match between two behemoth wrestlers. Tanaka introduces Bond to the custom of Japanese women bathing and massaging the man (a bit sexist in today's society). There's a traditional Japanese wedding complete with silk robes that brings together (temporarily) Bond and Kissy. And the scenery is spectacular as the film takes us from Tokyo to the Kobe shipyards to the volcanic islands and coves of Japan.  The only iconic landmark missing in TWICE is Mount Fuji.

Although this is Gilbert and Dahl's first James Bond film, they don't shy away from the ghosts of past Bond success, staging some impressive set pieces in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE. Second only to the fight scene on the train between Bond and Red Grant in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE, TWICE has a brutal duel between Bond and an Osato bodyguard/driver (Samoan wrestler Peter Fanene Maivia) complete with both men throwing each other through Japanese paper screens and Bond fending off the bodyguard with a couch, ramming him repeatedly with the sofa. Another famous set piece involves a sedan full of Osato gunmen chasing Bond and Aki until a helicopter with a large magnet swoops down and picks up the sedan, dropping the sedan and gunmen into a nearby bay.

The attack by Tanaka's Ninja's on Blofeld's underground volcano base is YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE'S best set piece and one of the best in the Bond series. Production Designer Ken Adam's massive set includes a monorail, control room, Blofeld volcanic apartment (complete with stolen art), piranha pool, and rocket launch pad. I didn't even mention the retractable crater that opens up at the top of the volcano. The siege on Blofeld's base is well staged with hundreds of Ninjas repelling down from the top of the faux crater and multiple explosions sending numerous SPECTRE agents flying and somersaulting into the air courtesy of mini-trampolines off screen. TWICE would involve over 100 stuntmen for the finale.

The underground volcano base and epic battle between good and evil help to disguise the fact that YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE'S space special effects leave a lot to be desired. Gilbert, Dahl, Adam and company are ambitious with their intentions for the various lunar modules and rocket ships in TWICE but the technology just wasn't there in 1967. Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY just a year later in 1968 makes TWICE'S space special effects look amateurish.  Yet YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE'S space scenes beat Kubrick's 2001 by one year and the first actual landing on the moon by the United States by two years. TWICE even has a scene eerily similar to 2001 when the rogue SPECTRE rocket snaps the spacewalking U.S. astronaut's lifeline cable with its retracting jaws as it swallows the American space ship, the hapless astronaut floating away to his death in space.

Sean Connery as James Bond is his usual charming, lethal self but one might say Connery sort of walks through YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE. In previous films, we always saw a bit of humanity or compassion emerge from Bond in a scene or two. In TWICE, he's a stranger in a strange land when he arrives in Japan. There's no spark between Connery and his female co-stars although I prefer Akiko Wakabayashi as Aki to Mie Hama's Kissy.

Karin Dor who plays Osato's personal assistant and SPECTRE agent Helga Brandt is a knock-off of
Fiona Volpe (she also has red hair), the insatiable assassin from THUNDERBALL played by Luciano Paluzzi. Dor does fine plus she gets to incur one of YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE's most grisly deaths when Blofeld, unhappy that she failed to kill Bond earlier, sacrifices Brandt to his pool of man (and woman) eating piranha fish. The Bond filmmakers would steal this scene again in THE SPY WHO LOVED ME substituting sharks for piranha. Beware the trap floor when crossing the bridge over said piranha or sharks SPECTRE agents. You have been warned.

The star of YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE for me is Donald Pleasence (THE GREAT ESCAPE, HALLOWEEN) as SPECTRE #1 aka Ernest Stavro Blofeld. The filmmakers keep the identity of the villain secret for most of the film so it's a great reveal (and shock) when we meet face to face the bald, facially scarred Blofeld.  Previously, we had only heard Blofeld's sinister voice and seen him petting his Persian cat from the neck down in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE and THUNDERBALL. Blofeld's appearance is a highlight of the film but he's only in the last 20 minutes. We are cheated of Pleasence's great, enigmatic characterization of the arch villain. Is Blofeld a leftover from the Nazi regime who's now in the global extortion business? Or is he a Swiss madman, plotting world catastrophe with a watchmaker's precision? Another actor was cast and started filming as Blofeld but director Gilbert felt he wasn't the right fit (and correctly so. Czech actor Jan Werich (the first choice) looked like a meek librarian). Pleasence was a last minute replacement and solidifies himself as one of the all time great Bond bad guys.

If the bald Blofeld character looks familiar to today's audiences, it's because Mike Myers lovingly parodies Blofeld as Dr. Evil in his James Bond spoofs, the AUSTIN POWERS comedies. The AUSTIN POWERS films borrow heavily from many of the Connery Bond films including FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE, GOLDFINGER, and of course, YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE. The Blofeld character would return in two other Bond films. In 1969's ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE, Telly Savalas (later to play KOJAK) played Blofeld.  And in 1971's DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, Charles Gray portrays multiple Blofeld's. But Pleasence's Blofeld is the best with his hypnotic voice, bald head, and bad scar across his right eye.

Speaking of Charles Gray, both Gray who plays Henderson and Burt Kwouk who plays Chinese SPECTRE agent # 3 in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE make appearances in other Bond films. Kwouk also appears in GOLDFINGER (1964) as a Chinese emissary Mr. Ling. Ironically, Gray would play Ernst Stavro Blofeld with white hair in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971) giving the 2nd best performance as Blofeld after Pleasence (and much more screen time).

But YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE is not without it faults. Besides the mediocre space ship effects, Bond's attempt to impersonate a Chinese fisherman is unintentionally funny and distracts from the story. At least Connery plays it straight. TWICE also has some plausibility issues. As hard as SPECTRE has worked to hide its identity with the space ship hijackings and hidden volcano base, Blofeld is way too casual when he lets the captured Bond hang with him in the control room, casually showing his bodyguard Hans (and Bond and the audience) which key controls the SPECTRE rocket ship.

Some final Bond trivia, tidbits, and thoughts. YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE is the only Bond film in which we never see Bond or M or Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell) in their London headquarters. TWICE takes place entirely in Asia -- either Hong Kong or Japan. TWICE also reveals for the first time Bond in a Royal Navy uniform and that he holds the rank of Commander. Bond never drives a car in this film (he does fly "Little Nellie") and it's only the third film in the series where Bond does not wear a tuxedo. Although World War II had been over for 23 years when TWICE was made and our former enemies were now friends, the Bond filmmakers have villains from the former Axis nations. Helga Brandt and Hans (Ronald Rich) play German bad guys and Mr. Osato is Japanese. I guess you can't have the Russians and Chinese play the heavies in every Bond film. Lastly, a Sinatra sings the theme song to YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE but it's not 'ol Blue Eyes Frank Sinatra but his daughter Nancy. Can you imagine a James Bond theme song sung by Frank Sinatra?  That would have been epic.

YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE caps off a very successful run for Producers Harry Saltzman and Albert "Cubby" Broccoli. From 1962 to 1967, they had produced five of the best James Bond films in the series (some a little better than others) and made James Bond (and Sean Connery) an international phenomenon. Not many film franchises can boast that kind of record. But with YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, their run of success would hit a brick wall as Sean Connery would leave the franchise (only to return for a curtain call in 1971's DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER). Their answer to replace Connery would be the bizarre choice of Australian George Lazenby for ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (1969). I tried to watch it once and fell asleep half way through it. Lazenby would be a one film failure. It would be uncharted territory for the Bond filmmakers going forward.

The Private Life of Henry VIII (1933)

Recently, there's been a public relations effort by Hollywood to portray Henry VIII as a thinner, sexier monarch like in the recent Showtime cable series THE TUDORS starring Jonathan Rhys-Meyer as the Tudor King. In reality, Henry VIII was a large, heavy set, some might say pudgy ruler. I appreciate Hollywood's attempt to make Henry look slimmer in hopes of drawing in a younger target audience. But if you want to see a more authentic version of Henry VIII played by an actor with a closer body type to the real Henry, look no further than 1933's THE PRIVATE LIFE OF HENRY VIII starring the fantastic and always entertaining Charles Laughton.

I became a Laughton fan last year after watching his compelling performance as the obsessed police inspector Valjean in LES MISERABLES (1935). Laughton seemingly owned all the plum roles in the 1930's playing Dr. Moreau in THE ISLAND OF LOST SOULS (1932), Captain Bligh in MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY (1935), and Quasimodo in THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME (1939). After binge watching THE TUDORS a few years ago and aware that Henry did not really look like actor Jonathan Rhys-Meyer, I wanted to see an actor with the same beefy physique as Henry play the ruler. Laughton uncannily resembles Henry. If Laughton had been born in the 16th Century, he might have passed as Henry's twin brother.

A tender moment between Henry VIII (Charles Laughton) and Wife #5 Catherine Howard (Binnie Barnes)

THE PRIVATE LIFE OF HENRY VIII was directed by Alexander Korda from a screenplay by Lajos Biro and Arthur Wimperis. PRIVATE LIFE is a cliff notes version of King Henry's life and relationships with five of his six wives. In fact, the film's prologue states that Henry's 1st wife Catherine of Aragon is not in this movie. "She was a respectable woman so Henry divorced her," the credits tell us. The film begins in 1536 with the impending execution of Henry's 2nd wife Anne Boleyn (Merle Oberon) and the immediate wedding to Henry's 3rd wife Jane Seymour (Wendy Barrie). Once Anne Boleyn is beheaded by a French Executioner (Gibb McLaughlin), King Henry VIII (Charles Laughton) weds Jane Seymour. Jane gives Henry the male heir he so desperately desires but Jane dies during childbirth. It has only been 25 minutes into the film and Wife #2 and Wife #3 are already gone.

Henry mourns the loss of Jane. Henry's chief minister Thomas Cromwell (Franklin Dyall) knows the king needs to be married for the sake of the country and suggests Henry marry Anne of Cleves (Elsa Lanchester), the German daughter of the Duke of Cleves (William Austin). By marrying Anne, Henry can calm some of the countries upset with Henry for divorcing and exiling Catherine of Aragon. Henry requests a painting of Anne. The German painter Hans Holbein (John Turnbull) paints Anne's portrait but she requests he make her look unappealing. Besides, Anne is in love with the man sent to bring her back, a man named Peynell (John Loder) from Henry's court.

Henry VIII (Laughton) with Wife #3 Jane Seymour (Wendy Barrie)

But Anne of Cleves does her duty, crossing the English Channel and marrying Henry to become Wife #4. By now, Henry has fallen in love with Katherine Howard (Binnie Barnes) from his court and Anne has a lover in Peynell. Henry and Anne agree to get an annulment one night while playing and cheating at cards with one another in bed. Once again, Henry is alone and morose. His Privy Council which includes Cranmer, the Archbishop of Canterbury (Lawrence Hanray) urges him to seek yet another wife. Henry weds Katherine Howard. By all appearances, Henry and Katherine seem happy and in love with each other. Except Katherine is having an affair with Henry's courtier and friend Thomas Culpeper (Robert Donat). When one of his advisers Wriothesley (Miles Mander) reveals the affair to Henry at a secret council meeting, Henry almost strangles him.

THE PRIVATE LIFE OF HENRY VIII ends as it begins with another beheading (the lovers Katherine and Thomas) just as the film opened with Anne Boleyn's execution. Henry grows fatter, older, and lonelier. Anne of Cleves visits him. She recommends he marry Katherine Parr (Everley Gregg), a widow with children already. Katherine Parr is more maternal. Henry marries Wife #6 Katherine Parr who takes care of  Henry like one of her children, pampering and scolding him simultaneously. As the film ends, Henry looks at the camera and proclaims, "Six wives and the best of them's the worst."

As I mentioned earlier, THE PRIVATE LIFE OF  HENRY VIII is a Readers Digest version of Henry's life. It plays more toward the romantic and comedic. It races through Henry's marriages and doesn't linger on the executions or political and religious turmoil that Showtime's THE TUDORS spent four seasons covering. Previous projects focused on Henry's marriage to Anne Boleyn (PBS's 2015 WOLF HALL) or the political intrigue of the Boleyn family in THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL (2008). In PRIVATE LIFE, Anne Boleyn scarcely makes an appearance even though she's portrayed by well known actress Merle Oberon (in one of her earlier roles). It's Laughton's wife Elsa Lanchester as Anne of  Cleves who receives the most time on the screen (it's good to be the wife of the lead).

Perhaps one of the earliest paintings done by Hans Holbein the Younger of Henry VIII, circa 1536

Henry VIII is portrayed more humorously in THE PRIVATE LIFE OF HENRY VIII than recent shows and films. Charles Laughton plays the king as a big spoiled kid. Laughton gives Henry a large hearty laugh that permeates throughout the castle, making all his court and servants smile and laugh when they hear it. When the king's in a jovial mood, so is his kingdom. It might be an inside joke that the film's title is THE PRIVATE LIFE OF HENRY VIII because Henry's life is anything but private. In one funny scene, Henry tries to sneak over to Catherine Howard's bedroom in the middle of the night for some naughtiness. But the King's Guard announces his every move, shouting "The King's Guard" as his element of surprise is ruined. PRIVATE LIFE has plenty of sexual innuendo for 1933 and for a British film. Henry has to explain the birds and the bees to Anne of Cleves who still believes storks bring babies.

This isn't to convey that PRIVATE LIFE is entirely a comedy. Henry's emotions run the gamut: petulant, happy, morose, cheerful, and flirtatious. Director Korda even stages a fight scene for Henry when he challenges a wrestler entertaining the court to impress his new wife Katherine Howard, defeating the wrestler but almost killing himself in the process. But PRIVATE LIFE avoids the bloodletting that made me finally stop watching THE TUDORS opting to show a more human and humorous side to the king. Laughton's portrayal of Henry VIII would earn him the Academy Award for Best Actor in 1933.

Henry (Laughton) with Wife #4  Anne of Cleves (real life wife Elsa Lanchester)

We never see Wife #1 Catherine of Aragon. Wife #2 Anne Boleyn is barely showcased and almost presented as a martyr. Jane Seymour, Wife #3, is portrayed as stupid and childish, a perfect match for Henry but she dies after giving birth to his son. Anne of Cleves (Wife #4) is supposed to be ugly but Lanchester's beauty can't be hidden underneath her funny gaments and accent. Anne is the nicest of the wives. Catherine Howard comes off as the most ambitious and smartest of the bunch, a woman who sought the crown but paid the price.  Catherine's ambition and infidelity will cost her and Culpeper their heads. Katherine Parr rounds out the six wives and appears the most practical. Interestingly, the movies spells both the later Katherine's with a K while history tells us their names were spelled Catherine.

As for the actresses playing Henry's wives, Elsa Lanchester as Anne of Cleves has the showiest part. With her big luminous eyes and funny accent, Lanchester almost steals all her scenes from Laughton in THE PRIVATE LIFE OF HENRY VIII. Lanchester would play both the Bride and author Mary Shelley two years later in THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1935). Lanchester and husband Laughton would make 11 films together (some of them early short films) including another Alexander Korda biographical film REMBRANDT (1936) and Billy Wilder's WITNESS FOR THE PROSECUTION (1957). Merle Oberon may be the most well known actress besides Lanchester to play one of Henry's wives but Oberon only appears in the first twenty minutes as Anne Boleyn before she loses her head. Ironically, director Alexander Korda discovered Oberon and cast the beauty in PRIVATE LIFE. They would be married in 1939 and divorced in 1945. Oberon would soon land bigger parts in films like THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL (1934), WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1939), and THE LODGER (1944).

Binnie Barnes who plays Henry's 5th Wife Katherine Howard is also very memorable. She has the most dramatic and interesting role, seemingly in love with Henry but having an affair with Henry's closest friend Thomas Culpeper. Her character is the closest we see to the drama and intrigue that more recent projects about Henry VIII have targeted. Binnie Barnes would appear in over 75 films including George Cukor's HOLIDAY (1937) with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn.

Henry (Laughton) and Katherine Howard (Barnes) watched over by Katherine's lover and Henry's friend Thomas Culpeper (Robert Donat)

The last well known actor to appear in THE PRIVATE LIFE OF HENRY VIII is Robert Donat. I've known Robert Donat forever from Alfred  Hitchcock's THE 39 STEPS but it's the only Donat film I've ever seen until now. PRIVATE LIFE is only Donat's 4th film and he's clearly cast as a romantic supporting character with his thin mustache and tights. But his matinee good looks served him well as he followed up PRIVATE LIFE with the lead role as Edmond Dantes in THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO (1934) and then as the accidental hero Richard Hannay in Hitchcock's fantastic British spy thriller THE 39 STEPS (1935). Not to be outdone by Laughton, Donat would win the Best Actor Academy Award for GOODBYE MR CHIPS (1939). Donat was dogged by poor health throughout his career and only made films sporadically after GOODBYE MR CHIPS.

Director Korda made THE PRIVATE LIFE OF HENRY VIII in England where it was a smash hit both in Britain and overseas. Eventually, director Korda and actors Laughton, Lanchester, Donat, Oberon, and Barnes would all end up in Hollywood, all with varying degrees of success. If PRIVATE LIFE were made today, the closest actor I could see portraying Henry with the right body type would be John Goodman.

Korda's decision to jettison some major characters in Henry's life and focus on the wives is a good decision. Thomas Cromwell who's a major character in WOLF HALL and THE TUDORS is but a bit player in PRIVATE LIFE and Cardinal Wolsey another important player in Henry VIII's world doesn't even appear (probably because he was involved with the Catherine of Aragon storyline which is also missing from the film). Korda's success with THE PRIVATE LIFE OF HENRY VIII stems from the casting of Charles Laughton who throws his considerable weight and exuberance into the role of Henry VIII making the King of England a likable, sympathetic historical character. Explore PRIVATE LIFE as it may be the closest  you'll ever come to seeing the real Henry VIII.

Marathon Man (1976)

When I was young film viewer, my naïve view of Nazis in movies were as stereotypical villains, the type you saw in films like CASABLANCA (1943) or last month's film blog RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981). They were cartoonish. But there was another type of Nazi that was making headlines in the 1960s and 70s that became subject matter for a few films. It was the real life Nazis who escaped Germany before the war ended and emigrated to South America. The most famous Nazi who got caught after WWII was Adolf Eichmann. Eichmann blended into the Buenos Aires German community until he was caught in 1960 and hanged in 1962. But the most infamous Nazi who fled Germany and was never caught although legend has it he's hiding in some South American jungle trying to start the Fourth Reich was Dr. Josef Mengele. Truth be told, Mengele had a stroke and accidentally drowned in Brazil 1979.

Nicknamed the "Angel of Death", Mengele was responsible for sending many Jews to the gas chamber at Auschwitz and for performing horrific experiments on them during WWII. In 1978 Franklin J. Schaffner's film THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL based on the novel by Ira Levin (Rosemary's Baby) was released. THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL was about a Jewish Nazi hunter played by Laurence Olivier hunting for Dr. Josef Mengele (Gregory Peck) in South America. But there was an earlier film that had caught my attention about a Nazi war criminal who comes out of hiding and shows up in New York. It was MARATHON MAN (1976) directed by John Schlesinger (MIDNIGHT COWBOY) and starring Dustin Hoffman. Ironically, Laurence Olivier stars in MARATHON MAN as well but instead of playing a Nazi hunter, Olivier played the fictional Nazi war criminal Dr. Christian Szell, clearly patterned on Mengele.

In my teens in the 70s, CrazyFilmGuy (then just a comic book/girl crazy nerd) was fascinated by the Loch Ness monster, UFO sightings, Bigfoot, and the Bermuda Triangle. But as I got into middle school and matured a bit, the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa and Nazi war criminals hiding in South America piqued my interest. So when MARATHON MAN came out, I was keen to see it. MARATHON MAN is a combination of the conspiracy paranoid thriller/urban noir genre with the Nazi war criminal subplot thrown in. But like some other films I wanted to see during the mid-70's like JAWS or ROLLERBALL, MARATHON MAN was another film that my parents wouldn't let me see. It was R rated. I know I watched it at some point as an adult but I don't recall the particulars of the plot. And so I return to another forbidden fruit from my past to see what was all the fuss about MARATHON MAN.

With a screenplay by the great William Goldman (BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID) based on his own novel, MARATHON MAN begins with a seemingly random incident. Two old men, one German, the other Jewish (Lou Gilbert), race through the streets of New York's Upper East Side, insulting each other, consumed by road rage until they crash their cars into a gas truck, killing both of them. This accident will set in motion dire consequences for two seemingly unconnected men. The German man killed was Klaus Szell (Ben Dova), the brother of wanted Nazi Auschwitz Concentration Camp dentist Dr. Christian Szell (Laurence Olivier). Szell's brother had one of two keys to Christian's safety deposit box full of diamonds extorted by Szell from Jewish prisoners seeking freedom during WWII. With his brother dead, the ex-Nazi Szell comes out of hiding from his Uruguayan jungle compound and sets off for New York to retrieve his fortune.

Thomas "Babe" Levy (Dustin Hoffman) is a college graduate history student haunted by the suicide of his professor father. Babe's father was turned in by his friends as a communist during the McCarthy witch hunts of the 1950's. Babe's mysterious older brother Doc (Roy Scheider) shows up in New York to visit his younger brother. When Doc is stabbed by Szell, he crawls back to Babe's apartment and dies. A federal agent Peter Janeway (William Devane) arrives to investigate. Janeway reveals that Doc and he were colleagues. They work for an agency known as the Division, a ghost agency situated between the FBI and the CIA that handles anything including taking care of Nazi war criminals. Known as the "White Angel" for his white hair (which he mostly cuts off before arriving in New York), Szell occasionally gave up other former Nazis to the Division in return for their protection. Doc was a courier between the Division and Szell. Janeway wants to know if Doc said anything to Babe before dying. Babe tells Janeway Doc said nothing and died in his arms.

Two men, Karl (Richard Bright) and Erhard (Marc Lawrence) break into Babe's apartment and kidnap him, whisking him away to a warehouse where Szell calmly tortures Babe with his dental instruments, repeatedly asking Babe, "Is it safe?" Satisfied Babe knows nothing and Doc wasn't trying to rob him, Szell orders Babe to be disposed. Babe manages to escape in a harrowing chase scene at night under the Brooklyn Bridge. Babe reunites with his girlfriend Elsa Opel (Marthe Keller) and she takes Babe out of the city to a friend's house in upstate New York. But Babe soon realizes that he can't trust Elsa as Janeway, Karl, and Erhard show up at the country house.

Janeway reveals Szell is trying to sell his diamonds and flee the country. Babe survives a shootout with Janeway and his men. Szell goes to the bank and withdraws his safety deposit box with diamonds. But Babe is waiting for the former Nazi dentist. He takes Szell to a water treatment plant near the Central Park reservoir he runs around where he forces Szell to swallow his diamonds if he wants to live. But Szell is like a caged animal and will not bow down to Babe's wishes in a tense finale in which only one of them will survive.

So CrazyFilmGuy has provided the plot for MARATHON MAN but why exactly is the film called MARATHON MAN? Babe is a runner, training for his first marathon. Early in the film, we see Babe running and running around the Central Park Reservoir. Schlesinger occasionally cuts to newsreel footage of Ethiopian Olympic long distance runner Abebe Bikila, Babe's hero. Bikila won the 1960 Olympic marathon running barefoot. But running plays a key part in MARATHON MAN besides exercise. When Babe escapes the interrogation by Szell and Janeway, he's literally running for his life as the bad guys try to kill him. Metaphorically, Babe is running from his past, from his guilt over his father's suicide, a professor ratted out by his friends during the McCarthy era. He's running from his lack of drive, ambition. He's intelligent but holds himself back. His brother Doc is a renaissance man, a well dressed agent who knows his wines and tailors. Doc has moved on from their father's disgrace. But Babe can't run away from his father's legacy. He wants to clear his father's name.

Recently, I watched another John Schlesinger film, the period film FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD (1967) based on a Thomas Hardy novel. Schlesinger's style is to not tell you what's going on or who's who. He makes audiences pay attention by not revealing too much right away. In MADDING, I didn't catch Julie Christie's characters name right away or that she had inherited a farm. CrazyFilmGuy needs to pay better attention. In MARATHON MAN, the early scenes don't seem connected at first. We're not sure how the two old men fighting and dying in a fiery car accident connects with Babe the college student or Doc who's in Paris barely escaping a car bombing and then an attack by a Chinese assassin Chen (James Wing Woo). Director Schlesinger and writer Goldman take their time rolling out the plot and the characters and how to connect the dots, making for a more satisfying, cerebral thriller. The first half of MARATHON MAN is like solving a puzzle.

Schlesinger would not be my first choice to direct a thriller. His previous films about an amoral model in DARLING (1965), a woman wooed by three different men in FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD,  and a male gigolo in MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969) are all very different and not particularly action oriented. But Schlesinger is well known for coaxing great performances out of actors. Julie Christie won an Academy Award in Schlesinger's DARLING. MIDNIGHT COWBOY showcases two of the best acting performances you will ever see by Jon Voight and  Dustin Hoffman. Schlesinger would win a Best Director Academy Award for MIDNIGHT COWBOY. It was probably hard for Schlesinger to pass up a chance to make MARATHON MAN with two of the titans of acting at the time: the legendary Laurence Olivier and Dustin Hoffman, one of the best actors in the business working in 1976 (and Hoffman and Schlesinger had worked together on MIDNIGHT COWBOY).

But the English born Schlesinger handles the style and action of the paranoid conspiracy film with ease. Cinematographer Conrad Hall (COOL HAND LUKE, BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID) photographs MARATHON MAN with harsh lighting and deep shadows and rain slickened streets. Schlesinger and Hall are so good they make Babe's apartment and bathroom menacing. Babe's escape from his captors at night under the Brooklyn Bridge is suspenseful and well staged. Because Schlesinger is a foreigner, his images and compositions are interesting and different from what an American director would choose to show.

MARATHON MAN'S most infamous scene is Szell's torture interrogation on Babe (forever making moviegoers even more fearful of dentists). With the calm demeanor of the neighborhood dentist, Szell briefly chastises Babe for having a cavity before jabbing at a nerve, repeatedly asking "Is it Safe?" for Szell to extract his diamonds from the bank. I commend Schlesinger for his brevity in the torture scenes (today's filmmakers would have made it gorier) but then read on IMDB that originally, the dentist scene was much longer, with more screaming from Babe but the filmmakers ultimately cut it down. Another less known but equally suspenseful scene is Nazi Szell's journey into the lion's den when he wanders around the mostly Jewish diamond district in New York. Trying to gauge the price of uncut diamonds, Szell is recognized by several Concentration Camp survivors who scream his name and try to stop him. It's a powerful moment in the film, a chance for survivors to have their comeuppance against their torturer except Szell escapes before the angry mob can catch him.

Dustin Hoffman definitely looks in great shape for MARATHON MAN especially when he's shirtless running away from Szell's henchmen Karl and Erhard. But his performance as Babe Levy, although solid, reminds me of a similar character David Sumner that Hoffman played in Sam Peckinpah's STRAW DOGS (1971). In both films, Hoffman plays meek, non-confrontational men who try to veer away from violence but circumstances force them to do brutal things they would not normally do. I guess one could see similarities in Hoffman's Ratso Rizzo in MIDNIGHT COWBOY and his Louis Dega in PAPILLION (1973) as well.

One of the joys to MARATHON MAN is watching one of the greatest actors of his generation on stage and film Laurence Olivier perform with arguably one of the most talented actors (along with Jack Nicholson) of this generation Dustin Hoffman. It's a match made in cinema heaven. Olivier's Dr. Christian Szell appears so grandfatherly with his glasses and bald head, looking like a German version of Pinocchio's father Geppetto until he springs his hidden retractable dagger from his coat sleeve. Szell is evil incarnate, a terrifying villain because he looks so harmless. When we first see Szell, he's in suspenders, baroque music playing on a phonograph but the camera pans around his room and we see skulls and human teeth and animal skins. Szell may be one of the most underrated villains in film history, no less evil than Anthony Hopkins' Hannibal Lecter, convincingly played by Olivier. Olivier had cancer while making MARATHON MAN and thought he was going to die but his cancer would go into remission and he would live another 13 years. Two years later, Olivier would go from playing the Nazi war criminal Szell to playing the Nazi hunter Ezra Lieberman (based on real life Nazi hunter Simon Wiesenthal) in THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL.

MARATHON MAN'S supporting cast is perfect with consummate pros Roy Scheider as Babe's mysterious big brother Doc and urbane William Devane (still sounding like Jack Nicholson little brother) as Doc's agency colleague and friend Peter Janeway. Schneider may have been one of the best supporting actors in the business (see THE FRENCH CONNECTION or KLUTE). He made MARATHON MAN fresh off his success in JAWS (1975). Scheider would eventually become a leading man in films like ALL THAT JAZZ (1979) and BLUE THUNDER (1983). He and Hoffman have nice chemistry as Scheider's Doc is protective of his little brother Babe. Devane's Janeway exudes Ivy League elitism. Janeway is ambiguously deceptive as most intelligence agents are. He's on both sides and neither side, climbing the corporate spook ladder to his next promotion. I was always a little surprised Devane didn't have a better film career but he has been a constant in television and cable. And Richard Bright (THE GODFATHER PART II) and Marc Lawrence (KEY LARGO) are perfect from the Rogue's Gallery of movie henchmen as Szell's muscle.

Marthe Keller as Babe's Swiss (or is she German) girlfriend Elsa had her heyday in the mid-70's. Keller appeared in MARATHON MAN as well as John Frankenheimer's BLACK SUNDAY (1977) and Sydney Pollack's BOBBY DEERFIELD (1977). In MARATHON MAN, she plays a history student who becomes Babe's nurturing lover, a role she would play again as the terrorist/lover to Vietnam Vet psycho Bruce Dern in BLACK SUNDAY. Keller's Elsa has some depth and sadness, she's not just another pretty foreign actress in an American film. Elsa's a pawn in this chess game of political intrigue.

An interesting six degrees of cinematic separation. Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford would star in one of the great real life political conspiracy thrillers of all time ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN (1976) based on Washington Post writers Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein's true account of Richard Nixon's presidency collapsing over the Watergate scandal. ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN screenplay was written by none other than MARATHON MAN screenwriter William Goldman. In 1975, the year before, Redford starred in THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR, another political conspiracy film. And then Hoffman would star in his own political conspiracy film (with a Nazi war criminal subplot) written by Goldman called MARATHON MAN. Hoffman, Redford, and Goldman all knew a good thing when they saw it with the paranoia conspiracy thrillers in light of Watergate.

MARATHON MAN is compelling but not perfect. The opening road rage scene between German and Jew is a bit contrived as the men race their cars past Orthadox Jews on the Upper East Side of New York on the day of Yom Kippur. And Babe's falling for Elsa who just happens to be Swiss was a little too convenient once we figure out Nazi Szell and Babe's brother Doc know each other. But ultimately, MARATHON MAN is a grade or two above the usual thriller because of its pedigree: Director John Schlesinger, Producer Robert Evans (who I haven't even mentioned), Screenwriter William Goldman, and a stellar cast led by Dustin Hoffman, Laurence Olivier, and Roy Scheider. MARATHON MAN is like a long distance race. It starts out slow and deliberate, building suspense, and finishes fast like a sprint.