Mysterious Island (1961)

What a thrill to look back at one of my guilty film pleasures MYSTERIOUS ISLAND (1961) for my 50th CrazyFilmGuy blog. I became enchanted by this adaptation of the Jules Verne's novel back in the day when some enterprising programming person for the local Portland KPTV Channel 12 came up with the idea of showing the same film each night for five nights in a row.  The only problem was I was in 3rd grade and my bedtime was eight thirty.  MYSTERIOUS ISLAND would start at eight o'clock.  So from Monday thru Thursday, I watched the three Union prisoners escape from the same Confederate prison, steal the same Confederate balloon, and fly away into the stormy night.  I'd watch as they lost altitude and descended toward the ocean, glimpsing a nearby island. A few of them even fell into the surf as the others were dragged by the balloon onto the beach. But after they found an unconscious Captain Harding (Michael Craig) on the beach beside a mysterious fire, I'd have to go to bed. Only on Friday night, with no school the next day, was I finally able to stay up and watch MYSTERIOUS ISLAND in its entirety to find out who made the fire and what surprises awaited the castaways on the island.

I was so captivated by the observation balloon and the men jumping from the basket into the water that I would recreate this scene in my basement.  I would take two soft giant bean bag chairs and tumble off my sofa clutching them, imagining myself jumping into that turbulent ocean as it tossed me around like a piece of flotsam. But finally watching MYSTERIOUS ISLAND from start to finish, the fantasy film had all kinds of elements that caught my fancy: a strange prehistoric island, volcanoes, strange giant creatures, a sweet love story between the two young leads, and the enigmatic Captain Nemo (Herbert Lom), mariner of the world's first submarine the Nautilus.

At the time, I had no idea that MYSTERIOUS ISLAND was considered a B movie at best. When I watched it as a young boy, it was the GREATEST movie I had ever seen. Little did I know that Verne's (and probably the screenwriters) inventions like underwater electric guns and conch shell breathing apparatuses was hooey.  I believed an observation balloon could be blown from Virginia to the South Pacific. I didn't question the stop motion animation or some of the obvious matte paintings and rear projection shots. It was all fantastic and real to me as a young boy. As I prepared to watch MYSTERIOUS ISLAND again as an adult, I wondered why someone decided to make this delightful adventure film.  I happened to turn on the TV and JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH (1959) , another Jules Verne novel made into a movie was playing, and it hit me.  JOURNEY and its box office success probably sent producers scurrying for more adventurous tales from Verne.

Based on Jules Verne's 1875 novel, MYSTERIOUS ISLAND was written by John Prebble, Daniel Ullman, and Crane Wilbur and directed by Cy Endfield (ZULU).  Two contributors who elevate MYSTERIOUS ISLAND to a higher grade of B film are noted Hitchcock film composer Bernard Herrmann (VERTIGO, PSYCHO) and visual effects wizard  Ray Harryhausen (JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS). More about their contributions later.  MYSTERIOUS ISLAND begins with a spectacular opening sequence. Set during the Civil War at the Siege of Richmond, Virginia in 1865, three Union prisoners Captain Cyrus Harding (Michael Craig), Herbert Brown (Michael Callan), and Corporal Neb Nugent (Dan Jackson) escape from the Libby Military Prison in a giant Confederate Observation balloon. They also take with them newly captured Union War Correspondent Gideon Spilitt (Gary Merrill) and one unfortunate Confederate soldier guarding the massive balloon, Sgt Pencroft (Percy Herbert).  The balloon rises into the sky and is swept into the atmosphere by the winds of the greatest storm in American history.

Harding's plan was just to escape the prison but they soon find themselves over the Pacific Ocean. The balloon begins to tear, bringing them down toward the water.  Through the clouds, they glimpse a nearby island. As they descend, some jump into the water while others hang onto what's left of the balloon as it drags them onto the beach. The next day, everyone is accounted for except Captain Harding. But smoke nearby leads them to an unconscious Harding lying next to a small campfire.  But who built the fire? Mr. Spilitt discovers some giant clams to feed the hungry balloonists.

Harding and his band of men begin to explore the prehistoric-like island. Harding wants to climb to the top of the island's main volcano to get their bearings.  Along the way, they come across a monstrous crab that nearly kills Neb in its pincers. The men defeat the crab but are stunned by the size of the creatures on this island.  After finally reaching the highest part of the island, they see a small boat drifting near shore. They race to the beach to discover the shipwrecked Lady Ann Fairchild (Joan Greenwood) and her beautiful niece Elena Fairchild (Beth Rogan).  The captain of their small vessel is dead. As they continue to investigate the island, the group discover a cave up in a cliff. Harding climbs up to investigate. Inside, he discovers the skeleton of a a pirate left for dead by his shipmates.  The group moves into the cave, calling it the Granite House.

The marooned adventurers will encounter a giant chicken and pirates as they rush to build a boat to get off the island. Herbert and Elena discover a giant honeycomb (and some angry giant bees). They escape from the terrifying insects and stumble upon an underwater grotto, finding the submarine Nautilus. Meanwhile, the pirate ship mysteriously blows up. Captain Nemo (Herbert Lom) emerges from the water wearing a conch shell breathing apparatus. Thought to have died eight years earlier off the coast of Mexico in his submarine, Nemo has lived on this island ever since, creating these giant creatures with the hope of defeating famine throughout the world (how he's created these behemoths is conveniently never explained). With the island's volcano about to erupt, Nemo rushes to assist the castaways to raise the pirate ship from the bottom of the ocean and patch it up so they can sail away before the island explodes.

So why my love affair with MYSTERIOUS ISLAND? Is it just childhood sentimentality toward one of my first cinematic memories? Having watched the film a couple of times as an adult and looking at it from a more knowledgeable film point of view, I'm still surprise by MYSTERIOUS ISLAND'S fun factor. It might be a B film but everyone involved seems to be treating it like it's much more prestigious. The hook for me is the Union prisoners stealing the Confederate Observation balloon. The balloon is such a strong visual, offering endless choices for where the escaped Union soldiers could be blown to. AROUND THE WORLD IN EIGHTY DAYS (1956) based on yet another Jules Verne novel would incorporate a hot air balloon in its story as well. Director Enfield stages the scene suspensefully and visual effects wizard Harryhausen fooled me with the clever use of miniatures for most of the wide shots of the enormous balloon tied down outside the prison.



FX Wizard Ray Harryhausen checking out his observation balloon set.

Without a doubt, composer Bernard Herrmann's exciting, epic musical score makes MYSTERIOUS ISLAND a notch better than most B movie adventures.  Clashing cymbals, thunderous drums, and towering horns kicks the film into another gear. Listen carefully and you can hear bits of Hermann's NORTH BY NORTHWEST score in MYSTERIOUS ISLAND.  Visual effects wizard Ray Harryhausen gives the fantasy part of the film vibrancy with his larger than life creatures as well as some subtle effects like the Observation balloon or the underwater city. Matte paintings bring the volcanos and the Granite House to life. Harryhausen is clearly inspired by Skull Island from KING KONG (1933) and this strange island has some winks and nods to that great film. MYSTERIOUS ISLAND doesn't over do it with the giant creatures either. The scenes involving the giant crab and later some enormous bees are extremely well done by Harryhausen. The giant chicken scene stretches the special effects a little bit but it's both a frightening and comical sequence. I had totally forgotten about one more creature the castaways face: a giant octopus like creature referred to as a cephlapod lurking in the deep as they try to raise the sunken pirate ship. The filmmakers even put some production value into the locations by shooting the island sequences in warm Spain.

MYSTERIOUS ISLAND also has some interesting depth in its story and character development not always found in B movies. The character Herbert is revealed early on to be a coward. I wonder if Herbert hadn't been caught by the Confederates if he would have been thrown in jail by his own Union army for desertion. He's hesitant during the prison break out and nearly misses catching the balloon as he freezes up, gripped by fear. But when he falls in love with Elena on the island and she's threatened by the giant chicken, Herbert overcomes his cowardice and rises to the occasion, jumping onto the chicken's back and stabbing it with a knife. Although set during the Civil War, MYSTERIOUS avoids the root causes of the war and doesn't choose sides. Interestingly, the one black character in the film, Nugent, is actually a corporal in the Union army and not a slave. The Confederate Pencroft has no problem with Nugent. His only beef is taking orders from the Union Captain Harding. But once they're all in the same predicament race, color, and rank go out the window as they bond together to survive.

Although none of the actors in MYSTERIOUS ISLAND was a superstar, each actor makes their character memorable.  Michael Callan as Herbert is the heartthrob of film. Callan's career was suppose to mirror bad boy James Dean but he ended up playing more romantic leads in films like GIDGET GOES HAWAIIAN (1961) and CAT BALLOU (1965). I enjoyed the love story between Herbert and Elena (Beth Rogan). I still have fond memories of Elena's goat skin swimsuit (not so much for Herbert's). Joan Greenwood who played Lady Anne is both sexy and motherly. Her husky English voice is memorable.  Greenwood hit her stride in the early 1950's in British comedies like KIND HEARTS AND CORONETS (1949) and THE MAN IN THE WHITE SUIT (1951). Gary Merrill as Spilitt has a familiar face and voice and like Greenwood, brings some class to the film. Merrill was in ALL ABOUT EVE (1950) and was married to EVE star Bette Davis for ten years.  Even Percy Herbert as the Confederate Pencroft had been in David Lean's THE BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER KWAI (1957). No  huge stars but all very competent.

But for a couple of actors, MYSTERIOUS ISLAND appears to be their fifteen minutes of fame. Michael Craig, who is perfect as the authoritative Captain Harding, leader of the escaped POWs, performed on TV and theater but never had another notable film role. My wife thought Craig looked a lot like actor Matthew Fox who would be the leader of another band of castaways who survived a plane crash on a strange island in the ABC TV show LOST. And Beth Rogan as Elena, the pretty shipwreck survivor made only one other film before seeming to retire.  The biggest name from MYSTERIOUS ISLAND now is Herbert Lom as Captain Nemo. James Mason had already played Nemo in Disney's 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA (1954). MYSTERIOUS ISLAND is a sequel of sorts to 20,000 LEAGUES. Lom's Nemo is older with white hair and beard. Nemo is more sympathetic and slightly less quirky in ISLAND. He's still against war but also seeking to become more of a humanitarian by creating giant food sources (clams, chickens, crab, honey). Although his submarine the Nautilus is out of commission for sinking war ships, Nemo still resides in the vessel in its underground lair. And Nemo still has ways of disposing of enemies as he demonstrates by blowing a hole in a pirate ship that threatens the islanders. Actor Lom would gain renown a few years later as the exasperated Commissioner Dreyfus who must deal with Peter Sellers' Inspector Clouseau in THE PINK PANTHER films. In a bit of cinematic trivia, Lom's Nemo plays Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor  on the organ on the Nautilus. Many years later, in THE PINK PANTHER STRIKES AGAIN (1976), Lom as Commissioner Dreyfus, now turned criminal mastermind, will also play Toccata in his Austrian castle as he plots to destroy the world and Clouseau.

MYSTERIOUS ISLAND seems to have survived the test of time.  Although its effects might be a tad outdated, the cast, director, composer, screenwriters, and visual effects supervisor give it their best effort and it shows. It's no coincidence that MYSTERIOUS ISLAND has been remade several times and in different countries.  The story of war prisoners escaping in a balloon blown off course onto an isolated island is a universal adventure. We all dream about escaping to a deserted island to escape our everyday problems.  I'd rather face a giant crab than a deadline at times, wouldn't you?  The influence of MYSTERIOUS ISLAND might even be seen in the television show GILLIGAN'S ISLAND and as my wife pointed out to me, the recent ABC hit LOST.  Not bad for a film that has no famous actors or even a well known director.

Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (1974)

Besides legendary Orson Welles, director Michael Cimino may be the next talented director who got in the way of his own fleeting success due to ego and creative megalomania. Welles wrote, directed, and starred in one of the greatest films of all time in CITIZEN KANE (1941). But with his next effort THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS (1942), Welles went over budget and clashed with the studio over creative differences. The studio ended up truncating Welles' original version. Welles' director cut of AMBERSONS is famously lost so we'll never know if it was a worthy follow-up to CITIZEN KANE. Welles directed a few other interesting films during his career like THE LADY FROM SHANGHAI (1947) and TOUCH OF EVIL (1958) but the cinematic world never knew the true potential of Welles because he kept tripping over his ego.

Michael Cimino directed THE DEER HUNTER (1978) about a bunch of Pennsylvania steelworkers who fight in the Vietnam War. THE DEER HUNTER went on to win five Academy Awards including Best Picture and Best Director and promised a new visionary auteur in Cimino.  Cimino's infamous follow-up HEAVEN'S GATE (1981), a western that went way over budget, nearly destroyed the studio United Artists and began Cimino's undoing. He's made a few films since like YEAR OF THE DRAGON (1985) and THE SUNCHASER (1996) but nothing that ever achieved the level of THE DEER HUNTER.

Cimino's promise as a director can be seen in his first directing opportunity, the robbery film THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT (1974) starring Clint Eastwood and Jeff Bridges.  Cimino began as a writer and co-wrote with John Milius MAGNUM FORCE (1973), the second film in Eastwood's Dirty Harry Callahan series and one of my favorites. Eastwood must have liked Cimino's writing as he hired him to direct this offbeat film. I remember as a kid THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT shown on ABC's SUNDAY NIGHT MOVIE.  The one clip that burned into my memory is Eastwood wearing protective goggles firing an enormous mini-cannon at a bank vault door. I had never seen a gun that big before and had no idea what the context of it was about.

THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT is part robbery film, part buddy film, part road movie, and part western only set in the modern era. The characters Thunderbolt (Clint Eastwood) and Lightfoot (Jeff Bridges) are sort of like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid only less romantic and a bit quirkier.  Like Butch and Sundance, Thunderbolt and Lightfoot discover that the encroachment of better technology is beginning to hamper their simple pursuit of robbing banks and armories. But one piece of technology (a 20mm cannon with armor piercing shells) will help Thunderbolt and Lightfoot bust into a bank vault.

The film opens with a car pulling up next to a rural white church with a single steeple beside a wheat field. Inside, Thunderbolt (Eastwood), posing as a preacher, speaks to a small congregation. The driver of the car Dunlop (Roy Jenson) plans on killing Thunderbolt, his former heist partner. He begins firing at the pulpit and Thunderbolt bolts out the back of the church, racing for his life across the wheat field with Dunlop chasing after him. Nearby, Lightfoot (Bridges), a young good looking drifter in leather pants tries out a Camaro at a used car lot and decides to drive off without paying for it. Thunderbolt and Lightfoot's path will cross as Thunderbolt flags down the passing Camaro and Lightfoot briefly loses control, hitting the shooter Dunlop, accidentally killing him. Thunderbolt grabs onto the car as Lightfoot races away.

Both men are drifters, nowhere near living the American dream. Lightfoot wants a friend but Thunderbolt is weary. After robbing a husband and wife at a gas station, Thunderbolt breaks from Lightfoot, heading to the bus station for destination unknown when he sees his former Korean war buddy and ex-bank robbery partner Red Leary (George Kennedy). Thunderbolt quickly rejoins Lightfoot. They spend the night in a motel and Lightfoot picks up two pretty women for entertainment: Melody (TV DUKES OF HAZZARD'S Catherine Bach) and Gloria (June Fairchild). The next morning, as they leave a diner, Red and another member of the crew, driver Eddie Goody (Geoffrey Lewis), ambush Thunderbolt and Lightfoot.  A chase ensues with Thunderbolt and Lightfoot managing to escape from Red and Goody. Lightfoot is curious about his new friend Thunderbolt and manages to get him to reveal that Thunderbolt, Red, Goody, Dunlop and the leader Billy Lamb robbed the Montana Armory two years earlier.  They hid the money in an old school house that Lamb attended as a child. Lamb died, Thunderbolt laid low, and Red believed he was double-crossed. Thunderbolt and Lightfoot return to Warsaw, Montana to locate the old school house but it's gone, replaced by a newer modern school. As they get back into their car, Red and Goody are waiting in the backseat.

Red and Goody force them to drive at gunpoint to a secluded spot. Thunderbolt explains that no one has the money, not even the police. They hid it in the school house which has now disappeared. Red takes an immediate dislike to Lightfoot. Red wants to kill them both but he wants that money too bad. Lightfoot suggests they hit the Montana Armory again. All four men are almost penniless. So they all take regular menial jobs to fund their venture. Thunderbolt does welding. Lightfoot works construction. Goody has an ice cream scooter route. And Red, begrudgingly, works janitorial at a department store. During their off time, the men work out the plan, plot their escape route, buy the enormous vault busting rifle, and try not to drive each other crazy.

Like most robberies, the plan starts out fine with Thunderbolt and Red tying up the Vault Manager (Jack Dodson) and his family and getting the combination to the vault from him. Lightfoot, disguised as a woman, distracts the lecherous Fat Man (Cliff Emmich) who monitors all the alarms at the local Western Union office. Thunderbolt and Red get into the armory, set up the bazooka looking rifle, and blow the vault open. But the plan starts to fall apart during the getaway and Red double-crosses Thunderbolt and brutally beats up Lightfoot.  The film ends with a satisfying but bittersweet ending.

Writer/director Cimino shows great control with camera and story in his directorial debut. He lays out the plot in an easy, straight-forward manner pausing to reveal quirks and back story to each character to make them more three dimensional. Cimino also has a great visual eye and uses the Montana locations to great effect. He often shoots big landscapes with humans as puny and insignificant in the foreground: Thunderbolt running across the immense wheat field as Dunlop chases him or Thunderbolt and Lightfoot riding the Idaho Dream river boat up a canyon.

At times, THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT even gets a little surreal. I can't explain the Crazy Driver (Bill McKinney) who picks up a hitchhiking Thunderbolt and Lightfoot on a desolate Montana highway. He's got a caged raccoon in the passenger seat.  He's pumping the exhaust from his muscle car back inside so he can get high.  After he rolls the car with Thunderbolt and Lightfoot in it, he walks behind it to reveal a trunk full of rabbits. Thunderbolt and Lightfoot are indeed like Alice, headed down the rabbit hole. Another nice surreal image is a garage door opening and a fleet of ice cream scooter trucks emerging from the garage like war planes on a flight deck, Goody driving one of them.

THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT is a perfect example of the films of the 1970's that probably couldn't get made today even with the star power of a Clint Eastwood. It's just a little too strange for today's audiences spoon fed on sequels and CGI special effects. THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT has many influences besides BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID.  The doomed robbery in a small town with a gang of four echoes of Sam Peckinpah's THE GETAWAY (1972). The unlikely duo of Thunderbolt and Lightfoot brings to mind Jon Voight and Dustin Hoffman in MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969) especially with Bridges Lightfoot a younger, sexier version of Hoffman's Ratso Rizzo.  Red Leary, Goody, and Dunlop in their black suits and dress pants and white shirts with ties may be where Quentin Tarantino got the inspiration for his bunch of criminal miscreants in RESERVOIR DOGS (1990). And what would a 70's film be without some car chases that were all the rage with VANISHING POINT (1971) and DIRTY MARY AND CRAZY LARRY (1974).  Cimino borrows from all these sources yet turns out a film that is still original and entertaining.

Clint Eastwood's  Thunderbolt is another of his Man With No Name roles he portrayed in Sergio Leone's western films.  Thunderbolt is a criminal but Eastwood makes him likable. Red occasionally calls him John but his nickname from the Korean War was Thunderbolt. We don't know much about him except that he won the Silver Star in Korea.  Both Thunderbolt and Red tell Lightfoot that the other man saved his life in the war. It's a sad statement that these two veterans who gave their service to the United States have become criminals. It may be a subtle jab at America's cold shoulder to returning Vietnam veterans. Korea was the first unpopular war where the mission wasn't crystal clear.

Even more enigmatic than Thunderbolt is Jeff Bridges' Lightfoot. He's a drifter, perhaps even a gigolo with no permanent family or male role model.  His goal in life seems to be to earn someone's respect. Throughout the film, he tries to win Red's respect without success. When they pull off the Armory robbery, Lightfoot feels vindicated. "I feel we accomplished something. A good job. I feel proud of myself, man. I feel like a hero." Lightfoot's sexual orientation is a bit of a mystery. He flirts and cat calls to women, tells Thunderbolt he'll never pay for sex yet it's Thunderbolt not the younger, good looking Lightfoot we see consummate with one of the girls Lightfoot picks up. Lightfoot kisses Red on the mouth (albeit with his hand over Red's mouth) and dresses like a sleazy hooker to distract the Fat Man. It's a bold, daring performance by the young Bridges (son of actor Lloyd Bridges in case you didn't know).

Nearly stealing the film is George Kennedy as Red Leary. Leary is a multitude of things. He's sadistic yet child-like. He may be a sexual deviant yet he's loyal to a degree to Thunderbolt who may have saved his life in Korea. Kennedy and Geoffrey Lewis as Goody have a nice rapport, at times resembling the Laurel and Hardy of criminals.  Just like Eastwood liked and hired Cimino after his work on MAGNUM FORCE, Eastwood would work again with Kennedy the next year in the spy action film THE EIGER SANCTION (1975). Both Lewis and Bridges would also have roles in  Cimino's HEAVEN'S GATE.  But don't get too attached to these characters.  Like the Christopher Walken character Nick in THE DEER HUNTER, Cimino has a fatalistic view toward some of his characters.

The women of THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT seem to be just eye candy in the film. Melody and Gloria, the waitress at the diner, the secretary at the welding shop, the girl on the motorcycle, even the exhibitionist housewife just titillate but play no major role in forwarding the story.  The most important female role is played by Lightfoot when he dresses up as a woman to distract and take out the Fat Man before he can sound the alarm. Look for brief appearances in the film from a young Gary Busey (as Garey Busey) and Vic Tayback (from the TV show ALICE).

THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT is a refreshing robbery film. It's not a super technological heist film like we see in many of today's films like TOWER HEIST (2011) or MAN ON A LEDGE (2012).  THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT is a swan song to the good old days of bank robbery when just some muscle and a few guns (or a small cannon) was all it took to break open a safe. Just as Butch and the Sundance Kid begin to see the writing on the wall as the railroad built bigger safes and hired mercenaries to hunt them, Thunderbolt and Red realize their days as bank robbers are numbered.

CITIZEN KANE was Orson Welles first picture and his greatest triumph. His sophomore effort THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS sealed his fate as a difficult, out of control wunderkind. THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT was Cimino's first effort and showed great promise. He would follow up with a bigger and grander THE DEER HUNTER as his sophomore effort and the world seemed his oyster.  It took his third effort HEAVEN'S GATE (which isn't nearly as bad as critics make it out to be) to send Cimino tumbling back to earth. The cinema gods are not kind to visionaries. But at least we have these two directors early, best efforts to remind us of what could have been.

Cat On a Hot Tin Roof (1958)

If playwright Tennessee Williams wrote today in 2012, his plays would barely be considered more than soap operas or a teenage melodrama on the WB. What was controversial in the 1950's barely makes a ripple in the age of TMZ and Twitter. Because Williams' plays in the 1950's did have controversial subject matter like rape, homosexuality, sexual debauchery, and mental illness, adaptations of his plays into films in the 50's often disguised or muted the subject matter due to the Hayes Code which set motion picture censorship guidelines.

Tennessee Williams was a master of the title.  A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE, NIGHT OF THE IGUANA, and CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF are fantastic titles that catch one's attention immediately. And they don't give away much about what the subject is about. I have heard the title CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF for probably thirty five years and never saw the play or film. But I always wondered what it was about. I knew there was a character named Big Daddy. I knew it took place in the South. I knew that numerous actors have played the key roles over the years on stage and even television including Laurence Olivier and  Rip Torn as Big Daddy, Natalie Wood, Kathleen Turner, and Jessica Lange as Maggie, and Robert Wagner and Tommy Lee Jones as Brick.  And I knew when it recently came on Turner Movie Classics that I needed to see the film version of CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF (1958) to finally see what the cool title was all about. For the record, CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF is how Maggie describes herself, stuck in a loveless marriage, a cat ready to jump off the hot roof but not sure where she might land if she does. CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama in 1955. This 1958 film is the first and most famous adaptation of the play.

CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF is directed by Richard Brooks who also co-wrote the screenplay with James Poe, based on the play by Tennessee Williams. Brooks was very good at adapting plays and books to the screen and did so with novelist Joseph Conrad's LORD JIM (1965) and Truman Capote's IN COLD BLOOD (1967). Brooks would even direct another film version of a Tennessee Williams play in SWEET BIRD OF YOUTH (1962) also with Paul Newman. Like a lot of plays that are adapted into films, Brooks stages most of CAT in the house of  Big Daddy but he's able to shoot a few scenes outdoors to open up the film and make it more cinematic.

This is evident in the opening scene at night as we see Brick Pollitt (Paul Newman), former high school star football player and ex-broadcaster, current alcoholic, back at his old high school track trying to jump some hurdles, imagining the crowd chanting his name like the old days. Brick ends up spraining his ankle and for the rest of the film, he either leans on a crutch or hops around the plantation on his good ankle. Brick and his wife Maggie (Elizabeth Taylor) are up from New Orleans visiting Brick's father Big Daddy (Burl Ives) for his 65th birthday.  Also visiting for the weekend are Brick's older brother Gooper Pollitt (Jack Carson), his wife Mae (Madeline Sherwood) and their five kids. It sounds like a pleasant weekend but in a Tennessee Williams play, underneath the seemingly nice family reunion is a divided family about to reveal a lifetime of lies and secrets.

Big Daddy returns to his 27,000 acre Mississippi plantation with his wife Big Momma Pollitt (Judith Anderson) from the city after supposedly getting a clean bill of health from several doctors. But his personal physician Dr. Baugh (Larry Gates) has lied to Big Daddy and Big Momma. Big Daddy has terminal cancer. Only Gooper knows the truth. Big Daddy may have a physical cancer but there is also a psychological cancer eating away at the Pollitt family. That cancer is the word "mendacity" which means to lie. Brick wants nothing to do with his wife Maggie, who he blames for the death of his best friend Skipper. Their marriage more or less a charade, Brick won't sleep with Maggie who desperately wants to have a child with Brick. He even suspects Maggie may have slept with Skipper. Brick also wants nothing to do with his father Big Daddy or his birthday. Maggie's afraid Brick will lose out on getting any piece of Big Daddy's estate. Gooper and Mae are also positioning themselves to get Big Daddy's plantation.

Big Daddy crushes everyone's feelings. He's always loved Brick more than Gooper even though Gooper has done everything that Big Daddy has asked him to do. Big Daddy can't stand Big Momma. Thinking he's going to live longer, Big Daddy even plans on leaving his devoted wife. He wants to give his land to Brick but wants Brick to earn it. Big Daddy can't understand why Brick drinks so much or won't have a child with Maggie. "You won't live with mendacity, " Big Daddy tells Brick. "Well, you're an expert at it." Brick doesn't want his father's land or money. He resents everything about his father. Both Brick and Gooper feel inferior to their larger than life father.

A storm rages on Big Daddy's birthday night as the truth finally emerges from this house of lies. Brick spills the beans to Big Daddy that he's dying. Maggie reveals that she did not sleep with Skipper. Brick reveals that he's always felt inferior to his larger than life father, only wanting his father's love. Gooper confides he's done everything Big Daddy has asked him to do and yet he's still not as good as his alcoholic, ex-football player brother Brick. The storm passes and the Pollitt family seems to reconcile as everyone tells the truth for once in this house of mendacity. Brick even asks Maggie up to the bed room.

I mentioned that Tennessee Williams subject matter is creatively vague so here's my attempt at some of the touchy subjects addressed in CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF. Maggie is sexually frustrated by her husband.  "Maggie the cat is alive. I'm alive," she says. She's hot for her handsome husband Brick who, in true Williams fashion, has some issues of his own. She may not be able to have children. Or is Brick impotent.  Why Brick wouldn't want to sleep with beautiful Maggie makes no sense unless ... Brick's best friend Skipper is the wedge between Brick and Maggie.  We never meet Skipper (he committed suicide) but it's implied in several scenes that Brick and Skipper, high school football teammates, may have had a homosexual relationship or encounter. Brick finding comfort with his friend Skipper in the shadow of Big Daddy's expectations. Maggie may have questioned Skipper about it, although Brick seems to think Maggie and Skipper slept together.  And then there's Big Daddy. He can't understand why Brick and Maggie have a childless marriage but he knows one thing. Maggie's a fine looking woman. Early on Big Daddy almost seems to imply if Brick won't sleep with her, then he will. "If I was married to you three years," Big Daddy tells Maggie, "you'd have the living proof. You'd have three kids already and a fourth in the oven."

CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF'S characters are almost the exact opposite of those in Williams A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE (1951). STREETCAR had a strong male lead in the brutish Stanley Kowalski and Blanche Dubois was the psychologically weak one.  In CAT, Maggie is the stronger one, the cat scratching and clawing to keep Paul Newman's weak Brick in Big Daddy's good graces. Brick's crutch just isn't for his bad ankle, it's symbolic of his weakness in never reaching his potential.

Director Brooks does a nice job staging CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF. He keeps the the characters often in the same frame, moving them around in interesting juxtapositions. All the characters have several juicy scenes, usually in twos. Whether it's Maggie and Brick fighting up in the bedroom or Brick and  Big Daddy exposing each other's weaknesses down in the cellar, Williams dialogue comes alive. Big Daddy's cellar is an interesting set, sort of like the giant warehouse in CITIZEN KANE full of lost dreams and hopes.  It's cluttered with Big Momma's mementos from past European trips but a lifesize poster of Brick in his football glory dominates the cellar, the idolized vision of Brick, the prodigal son. Brick symbolically tears the poster apart during his argument with Big Daddy.

Although he's the third bill in CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF, Burl Ives as Big Daddy is the center of the film, a hurricane to the Pollitt family causing psychological destruction to his kin. My only contact with Ives had been as the voice of the friendly Sam the Snowman in the animated Christmas TV special RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER (1964) so to see Ives play such a nasty patriarch is a credit to what a good actor Ives is.  Elizabeth Taylor as Maggie is beautiful and sensual, not the sweet young girl that starred in NATIONAL VELVET (1944). Maggie's sexual longing for Brick is palpable. Believe it or not, Paul Newman's Brick is probably the weakest link of the three. Newman was the hot young actor in the late 50's already with several credits to his name like SOMEBODY UP THERE LIKES ME (1956) and THE LEFT HANDED GUN (1958). Newman is gorgeous to look at it but Brick should probably be a little less handsome since he's past his prime and battling alcohol.  Newman seems a little too young for the role. In some scenes, Ives' Big Daddy just overpowers him but Newman plays Brick's utter disgust for Maggie credibly. What must've seemed like an actor's dream to have to use a crutch for most of the film becomes a nuisance as Newman has to hop around in some scenes or lean on the crutch in others. This crutch may be the most obnoxious prop in film history. Jack Carson who I enjoyed as Joan Crawford's lecherous business partner in MILDRED PIERCE (1945) is fine as Brick's sad older brother Gooper.

For me, A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE is still Tennessee Williams masterpiece but CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF is another fine effort from Williams depicting a southern family at war with each other. Although this film version of CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF apparently has a more upbeat ending than the stage play, director Richard Brooks shows a lot of respect for Tennessee Williams material and his adaption and direction make CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF a worthy addition to the many Tennessee Williams plays adapted to the big screen.

Red River (1948)

For anyone who has never driven across or seen the actual Red River, let me be the first to tell you that the river is red. The Red River acts as a natural border between northern Texas and southern Oklahoma. A few years ago I flew to the southwest for my job. After visiting my Irving, Texas office, I drove my rental car three hours north to Oklahoma City to visit our office there.  I saw the sign indicating I was about to cross the Red River and thought about the John Wayne movie RED RIVER (1948) which I had never seen. I expected to see a typical river, blue or green or black in color, flowing underneath. But it was red, a deep brownish red. It must have been an easy name to come up with for the first explorer or settler or cowboy or Indian who saw it.

The film RED RIVER, directed by Howard Hawks with a screenplay by Borden Chase and Charles Schnee based on a Saturday Evening Post story by Borden Chase, is almost always referenced as one of the great westerns of all time. It is an epic western, the story of a huge cattle drive from Texas to Kansas along the Chisholm Trail. At first glance, RED RIVER would appear to be a John Ford film as it stars many actors from the Ford repertory including John Wayne, Harry Carey, Jr, Hank Worden, Walter Brennan, Joanne Dru, and John Ireland. But it's the great genre director Howard Hawks not John Ford at the helm. Whereas Ford's Cavalry trilogy always had a feeling of family with some Irish humor thrown in, RED RIVER has the usual Hawksian elements: a group of men who live by a code of honor, a tough independent woman amongst all the men, and a hero finding redemption.

RED RIVER begins in 1851 as a wagon train out of St. Louis heads west for California through Texas.  But breaking from the train to begin his dream of starting a huge cattle ranch is Thomas Dunson (John Wayne, with long blond hair). Joining Dunson is his irascible friend Nadine Groot (Walter Brennan).  Dunson's girl Fen (Colleen Gray) wants to come as well but Dunson will have none of that. The two parties go their separate ways. Later in the day, Dunson and Groot see smoke where the wagon train was headed. They suspect an attack by Comanche Indians.  That night, a war party tries to attack them. Dunson kills a Comanche wearing the bracelet Dunson gave Fen, confirming his worst fears.  The next day, a young boy named Matt Garth (Mickey Kuhn) emerges from the brush, the lone survivor from the wagon train massacre. With Matt's one cow and Dunson's bull, the trio ride south until they reach the right land near the Rio Grande.  Dunson sets his stakes down to start his cattle ranch and the Red River D brand.

Dunson builds his cattle empire but then the Civil War calls and Matt and many other young men go off to fight. When Matt returns (played by adult Montgomery Clift), Dunson still has a huge ranch, but he's penniless. The Civil War has made the south broke. There's no market for beef in Texas so Dunson decides to drive his ten thousand head of cattle to Missouri to sell, a journey no one has ever done. With Matt leading the drive and Groot heading the chuck wagon, Dunson picks up a few other colorful characters to drive the herd including young hotshot gunslinger Cherry Valance (John Ireland), dependable and loyal Buster McGee (Noah Beery, Jr), Native American Quo (Chief Yowlatchie), earnest Dan Latimer (Harry Carey, Jr), Teeler Yacey (Paul Fix), and eccentric Simms Reeves (Hank Worden).

Director Hawks alternates between cattle drive scenes during the day and camp fire dialogue at night as the drive begins. A stampede caused by the clumsy Bunk (Ivan Parry) ignites the first real drama of the drive as Dan Latimer is trampled and killed by the frightened herd. Dunson wants to whip Bunk but Matt steps in, saving Bunk's life. This is the first real conflict between Dunson and Matt. Forty days into the drive, the men are wet from rain and low on food.  Sixty days into the drive, with morale low, a stranger stumbles into the camp. He's from another cattle drive that was jumped by Missouri border gangs. He tells the men that Kansas is where the cattle are being bought not Missouri. Some of the camp want to go to Kansas but Dunson stays firm with his plan to go to Missouri. Teeler and two other men flee the drive, tired of the tyrannical Dunson. Cherry is sent to retrieve them. Dunson starts to become paranoid as the cattle drive reaches the Red River.

Cherry returns with the three deserters. Dunson wants to hang them but Matt intervenes again. Matt disarms Dunson and takes over the drive. Matt makes the decision to lead the drive to Abilene, Kansas. Dunson promises to follow them and kill Matt.  Buster returns from a scouting mission with news that there's a wagon train up ahead with food and women. When they arrive, the wagon train is under attack by Indians. Matt and Cherry help the wagon train fight off the Indians. Both men fall in love with the lovely Tess Millay (Joanna Dru). Tess wants to come along with Matt to Kansas but he won't have it. Matt fears they won't find the town but they see a nearby train that leads them to Abilene, a town hungry for cattle. It's August 14th, 1865 as Matt and his men drive the herd down Abilene's Main Street. Matt makes a deal with Mr. Melville (Harry Carey, Sr) who buys the cattle at a good price. Dunson, now with some new, armed men, follows the cattle drives trail all the way to Abilene. Dunson comes across Tess and her wagon train. Tess convinces Dunson to bring her along. Dunson and his gang ride into town for the big showdown between Dunson and Matt, a showdown that ends with a satisfying Hawks ending

Like the river in Ford's RIO GRANDE, the river in RED RIVER symbolizes many things. The river carries the sweat and toil of settlers heading east and west; north and south. It's hope when Dunson, Matt, and the drivers cross it with their ten thousand head of cattle, one step closer to making some money in Missouri or Kansas.  The river also represents blood and death. Early in the film, Dunson and a Comanche fall into the river fighting and Dunson kills the warrior in the dark water. Dan Larimer is one of many men who die during the cattle drive, his blood sowing the land that leads to the Red River.

RED RIVER is a western version of Mutiny on the Bounty with Dunson as Captain Bligh and Matt as Fletcher Christian. Dunson is a taskmaster, driving his men as hard as his cattle, pushing them relentlessly through long days and dwindling food. His word is law and the wranglers respect his monumental plan until Dunson begins to lose their trust when he first wants to whip Bunk for starting the stampede and later, tries to hang deserters Laredo, Teeler, and Kelsey. Dunson has become a crazed tyrant and the drive almost comes apart because of it. Matt is the intermediary between Dunson and the drivers. Cherry and later Dunson call Matt "soft" but he's the one human being on this drive, caring for his buddies just as much as he loves his surrogate father Dunson. Matt has seen too much of man's inhumanity during the Civil War. The drivers respect Matt's wisdom and when Matt leads the mutiny, Cherry, Buster, and even old Groot have no problem switching alliances or pointing a gun at Dunson. The men still respect Dunson but he's lost his way, gone mad on this cattle drive and they put their trust with Matt that he'll lead the way to Abilene and prosperity.

Director John Ford has been quoted after watching Wayne's performance in RED RIVER stating that "I never knew the big son of a bitch could act."  I think Ford knew Wayne was a fine actor but he liked to put Wayne down to remind him Ford was boss. That changed with Hawks casting Wayne in RED RIVER. Dunson is a different type of character than Wayne had played in Ford's Cavalry trilogy. Physically, Wayne sports blond hair. Dunson's metamorphosis from settler to surrogate father to ruthless cattle baron to villain is an actor's dream. Thomas Dunson would prepare Wayne later for one of his most memorable performances as the multi-layered Indian racist Ethan Edwards in John Ford's THE SEARCHERS (1956).

RED RIVER is the first film to find a younger actor like Montgomery Clift strong enough to stand toe to toe with the John Wayne mystique. Hawks casting of Clift as Matt Garth is essential to the success of the Dunson/Matt relationship. Clift's smoldering persona and cool cockiness makes him a perfect choice to play Matt. Other young actors like John Agar (FORT APACHE), Jeffrey Hunter (THE SEARCHERS), and even Glen Campbell (TRUE GRIT) never could hold their own against the formidable Wayne. Dunson and Matt have a love/hate relationship.  Matt the wagon train orphan that Dunson takes in, demanding that he be a part of the Red River D brand. Dunson telling him not until Matt earns it. Matt will earn it in more ways than he can imagine, having to overthrow the father-like Dunson on the biggest cattle drive of his life. This was only Clift's second feature film but his career would take off after RED RIVER in films like A PLACE IN THE SUN (1951) and FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953). Sadly, like Marilyn Monroe (who he acted with in THE MISFITS in 1961), Clift would die way too young.

Walter Brennan as Nadine Groot is an interesting character. Groot is there for many of RED RIVER'S humorous moments including losing his false teeth to Quo in a poker game. Groot will have to borrow his teeth back during meal time from Quo. But Groot is also the conscience to his friend Dunson and a grandfather to Matt. In the beginning, Dunson listens to Groot, laying off Matt when Groot thinks he's being too harsh on the young man. But Dunson begins to stop listening to Groot as paranoia and fear set in, as Dunson begins to lose his hold on the drive and the drivers, doubting his destination, resorting to threats of violence against the men who love him.

There aren't a whole lot of women in RED RIVER and there's too big a gap between the appearance of Fen at the beginning and Tess near the end.  Tess Millay (Joanna Dru) is the poster girl for the tough Hawksian woman with one of the greatest introductions in a Hawks film as she takes an arrow to the shoulder while flirting with Matt during an Indian attack on her wagon train. Ironically, actress Joanna Dru hated acting in westerns yet her two noteworthy performances are RED RIVER and SHE WORE A YELLOW RIBBON (1949). Sex is used as a bartering commodity by both the women and men on the range.  Fen (Colleen Gray) basically tells Dunson when he's done herding cattle for the day, she'll be waiting in bed for him each night. Dunson still turns down her request to join him as he starts his ranch. Haunted by Fen's death and still not married fourteen years later, Dunson asks Tess if she'll bear him a son, a real son as Dunson's hatred of his adopted son Matt festers. Dunson has planted the seeds for his cattle kingdom in Texas but he hasn't fathered a son to take over when he dies. Tess declines his request, her heart beating for Matt. Look for a young Shelley Winters as a Dance Hall girl briefly in RED RIVER as well.

Many Hawks films have a good band of supporting characters, usually men, who live by a code of respect and honor even if they don't always agree. Standing out in RED RIVER are Noah Beery, Jr as Buster McGee and John Ireland as Cherry Valance. Buster is honest and trustworthy, the type of friend any ranch hand would want.  Buster has the best line in the film when he races back from a scouting trip, yelling to the boys about the wagon train he found. "Women and coffee, I tell ya!" he yells. Actor Noah Beery, Jr would later become famous as James Garner's father on the television series THE ROCKFORD FILES. Cherry Valance could have his own movie.  He's a gunslinger who seems to have no loyalties as he jumps from one cattle rancher Meeker (Davison Clark) to Dunson. He's a loner but has a friendly rivalry with Matt, trading fancy shooting shots with him and later vying for Tess's affections. Matt and Cherry are almost like brothers. Cherry seems to only think about himself but when Dunson comes looking to kill Matt, Cherry's loyalty to Matt steps up. Actor Ireland starred in a lot of westerns before moving on to a long television career but he also appeared in ALL THE KING'S MEN (1949) and SPARTACUS (1960). Ireland would even be married to co-star Joanna Dru for a time after the film.

Many think Hawks' RIO BRAVO (1959) is his best western (also starring Wayne) but right now, I would stick with RED RIVER.  Like Ford's THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE (1962), RIO BRAVO has a bit of a TV western back lot feel.  RED RIVER feels big and open. Hawks handles the logistics with all the cattle, horses, and wagon trains effortlessly and the exteriors of Arizona (filling in as Texas) are excellent. His storytelling is economical. When Hawks needs to get some information to the audience early in the film, he uses Walter Brennan's voice over to explain Dunson's vision or briefly shows written words on pages from an anonymous story of the drive to punctuate plot points. Dimitry Tiomkin's score grows on the viewer and the theme song Settle Down also by Tiomkin is catchy.  But it's the growing conflict between Dunson and Matt to lead and finish the greatest cattle drive ever that powers RED RIVER.

RED RIVER is beloved by western fans and Billy Crystal's recent film CITY SLICKERS (1991) is a modern tip of the cowboy hat to maybe the first epic western ever. RED RIVER would prove to director John Ford and many others that John Wayne was a talented actor capable of playing flawed characters. If a trip to the Red River Valley is not on your next travel destination, then catch director Howard Hawks RED RIVER, an enjoyable two hour diversion.

The Eagle Has Landed (1976)

On a spring break vacation with my family to Maui, Hawaii in 1977, I found myself terribly sunburned after my first day playing in the surf on Napili Beach.  Confined to wearing a t-shirt and pajamas pants to cover my lobster red thighs, I went into the hotel's gift shop to find a book to read, preferably in the shade or my hotel room. I remember being intrigued by the titles in the shop which included Robin Cook's Coma, Clive Cussler's Raise the Titanic, and Jack Higgins' The Eagle Has Landed. I ended up choosing Raise the Titanic which I enjoyed very much (and have never seen the film version). Like authors Robert Ludlum or Ken Follett (two of my favorite authors as a teenager who also had books in the gift shop), Jack Higgins wrote thrillers, often set in World War II, that I never read and still haven't. So for Higgins best known novel, I've done the opposite and chose to watch the film version of Higgins THE EAGLE HAS LANDED (1976) instead of reading the book first.

THE EAGLE IS LANDED is directed by John Sturges, the legendary director of BAD DAY AT BLACK ROCK (1955), THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN (1960), and THE GREAT ESCAPE (1963). Surprisingly, EAGLE would be the last film Sturges would direct although he lived until 1992.  He treats the film like his previous epics, unveiling the plot slowly and methodically but it doesn't carry the dramatic effect that say THE GREAT ESCAPE had as that film was based on a true WWII mass POW escape while EAGLE is a work of fiction. The action sequences are typical of war action films from the 1960's and early 70's.  Nicely staged but a little too rehearsed and perfect. SAVING PRIVATE RYAN and BAND OF BROTHERS battles scenes have raised the bar immensely from the days of THE DIRTY DOZEN (1969) or THE EAGLE HAS LANDED. But Sturges knows how to film production value and he gets the most out of a fighter plane landing on an airstrip, a seaport on a Norwegian island, trains and train station (in Finland posing as Poland) and the English village that Churchill plans to visit.

Screenwriter Tom Mankiewicz adapted the Jack Higgins novel.  Mankiewicz had become a hot commodity after his screenplays for the James Bond films LIVE AND LET DIE (1973) and THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN (1974). Mankiewicz writes good, catchy dialogue but the characters in EAGLE are broad and over the top and a little too glib for a war movie.

THE EAGLE HAS LANDED begins with news footage of a real life rescue mission in September 1943 known as the Gran Sasso Raid where German paratroopers rescued Italian dictator Benito Mussolini from a high mountain ski resort where he was held by his Italian captors. Brimming with confidence after the Mussolini rescue, Higgins novel postulates that Hitler wanted to kidnap Winston Churchill to use as a bargaining chip as the war nears its end. Admiral Canaris (Anthony Quayle) assigns the one-eyed Colonel Max Radl (Robert Duvall), veteran from the Russian front, to do a feasibility study on whether this plan could succeed. Both know Hitler will soon forget about it but Heinrich Himmler (Donald Pleasence) will not.  An intelligence report Radl receives mentions that Churchill is to visit a war factory in England in a month and stay at a small English village called Studley-Constable for the night. Radl sees an opportunity and goes over Canaris's authority to make it happen.

Radl enlists Colonel Kurt Steiner (Michael Caine), a decorated and brilliant German paratrooper with the 12th Parachute Attachment to pull off the kidnapping. But Steiner and his squad have just been sent to a Norwegian penal colony to be court martialed by the German SS after Steiner tries to help a Jewish girl escape at a Polish train station. Steiner is a patriot but he's no Nazi. Also enlisted by Radl is Liam Devlin (Donald Sutherland), an ex-IRA soldier with no love for the English. Radl pulls strings to get Steiner temporarily pardoned and he and Devlin meet Steiner on the Norwegian island to work out the mission.

Devlin is dropped into England first by plane and hooks up with a local spy Joanna Grey (Jean Marsh). Devlin's cover is as the new marsh warden (like a game warden). Devlin quickly gets the lay of the village, meeting the town's vicar Father Verecker (John Standing) as well as the pretty Molly Prior (Jenny Agutter) who takes to the Irish newcomer quite quickly. Next, Steiner and his men disguised as Polish paratroopers are dropped along the coast, their transport a captured English plane. Steiner's team's code name is Eagle.

The locals are excited by the arrival of the paratroopers who claim to be an advance team for Churchill's visit.  Steiner's first obstacle arrives when Captain Harry Clark (Treat Williams), an American Ranger shows up. His unit is headquartered eight miles up the road in an English manor. Steiner and Devlin's intelligence did not warn them of this. After Clark leaves, the Germans race around the village, practicing maneuvers. A young girl watching them falls into a pond near a mill. One of the Germans jumps in and saves her but he's crushed by the mill's water wheel, exposing his German uniform under the Polish white suit. Steiner and his men herd the rest of the villagers into the church.

Hiding in the church are Molly and the vicar's sister Pamela (Judy Geeson) who sneak out to warn the Americans.  Pamela makes it to the American headquarters. In charge is Colonel Clarence E. Pitts (Larry Hagman), anxious for some action, who without alerting the English, takes his Rangers to fight the Germans.  When Captain Clark finds out Pitts plan, he finds and stops Churchill's convoy from going to the town.  The Germans stall Pitts and his men giving Steiner and Devlin time to escape. Steiner's kidnap plan has turned into a suicide mission. EAGLE ends with a nice twist at the end as Steiner, disguised as an American soldier, goes after Churchill solo.

One theme that Sturges/Mankiewicz get across very well in THE EAGLE HAS LANDED is desperation.  As a whole, the German high command is desperate for some kind of good news as they realize the war is lost. That Radl and Himmler even attempt to kidnap Churchill so late in the war is ludicrous but the paranoia of Hitler has infected everyone.  Radl's plan is suicidal from the beginning. Steiner and his team accept the suicide mission, desperate to get off their island prison, Steiner desperate to regain his honor. Even Colonel Pitts, the desk bound American, is desperate for combat, about to be sent packing back to the United States without ever firing his gun.  His subordinates are happy to sit out the remainder of the war in the beautiful English countryside but the German plot will give Pitts his opportunity for battle. Pitts will get more action than he bargains for.

Actors Michael Caine, Robert Duvall, and Donald Sutherland were some of the best actors working in the 1970's, at the heights of their careers and yet I find them badly miscast in this war film. Canadian actor Sutherland as Devlin goes way over the top with his Irish accent, almost sounding like the leprechaun from the Lucky Charms commercials. American actor Robert Duvall looks the part as the veteran Radl, with the bald head and eye patch but his German accent is fair at best. And English actor Caine starts out with an German accent until the plot reveals he went to college in London and speaks English perfectly, which gives him the liberty to throw out his German accent once he and his parachute team land in England. I just couldn't believe Caine as a German.  Only Donald Pleasence as Heinrich Himmler looks and plays his character correctly, insulated in his Nazi office from the inevitable, fanatical until the end. Pleasence worked with director Sturges in THE GREAT ESCAPE.

Colonel Pitts played by Larry Hagman (TV's I DREAM OF JEANNIE and DALLAS fame) has a great time as the redneck, amped up desk general who's in over his head when the Germans take over the nearby town. Pitts is similar to a character that writer Mankiewicz would introduce in the James Bond film LIVE AND LET DIE (1973), a redneck sheriff named J.W. Pepper (played with great relish by Clifton James). And Treat Williams, in one of his first roles, brings a nice intensity as American soldier Captain Clark. Clark should really be running the show but he defers to the buffoonish Colonel Pitts until Pitts makes a fatal decision. Also look for actor Jeff Conaway (GREASE and TV'S TAXI) as an American Ranger.

1976 represents a watershed time as a group of acclaimed veteran directors would make some of their last films. THE EAGLE HAS LANDED would be Sturges last film. Other prestigious directors last films at this time included Alfred Hitchcock's FAMILY PLOT (1976), Robert Wise's THE HINDENBURG (1975), Richard Brooks' LOOKING FOR MR. GOODBAR (1977), Fred Zinnemann's JULIA (1977), and Billy Wilder's FEDORA (1978).  A new breed of young hotshot directors were just starting to make a name for themselves at this time and would take filmmaking to the next level. Names like Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Martin Scorsese, and Brian DePalma.

John Sturges was famous for his western and war films. THE EAGLE HAS LANDED, although not nearly on par as Sturges THE GREAT ESCAPE, is an entertaining what-if movie that if not for some misguided casting, might have been better received. But all parties involved give it their best effort and it shows in its production value.

Petulia (1968)

The British are Coming ! The British are Coming! That might be what the studios were yelling in the late 1960's.  They weren't talking about the Beatles.   It was the invasion of British directors to Hollywood. First came Englishman John Boorman's gritty POINT BLANK in 1967 with Lee Marvin. In 1968, Peter Yates (yes, he's British too) would direct the police drama BULLITT with Steve McQueen and the greatest car chase in film history. And in 1969, MIDNIGHT COWBOY came out directed by yet another Englishman named John Schlesinger starring Dustin Hoffman and Jon Voight. All of these directors had begun their careers in England but these were their first American efforts set in uniquely American cities like Los Angeles, San Francisco, and New York.

Another director who I thought was British was actually American, born in Philadelphia, PA but he spent most of his professional career working in England, making his American directorial debut in 1968 was Richard Lester. His first American film PETULIA, a modern drama, is set not in swinging London but San Francisco about middle-age crisis, divorce, domestic abuse, and a free-spirited, unhappily married young woman named Petulia (Julie Christie).  PETULIA is a far cry from Lester's more light-hearted, comedic films starring the Beatles like A HARD DAY'S NIGHT (1964) and HELP! (1965) not to mention his reimagining of  THE THREE MUSKETEERS and THE FOUR MUSKETEERS in 1973 and 74. Even though Lester was American, having worked mostly in England so far, he brought a foreign director like take on America. They tend to view the United States slightly differently, both in story and visual sense than an American based director. They just see things in a unique way.

I selected the film PETULIA (1968) because when I worked as a production assistant for director/producer Michael Mann's company, Mann and an editor were talking about films and Mann liked PETULIA'S cinematography. He liked that things were slightly out of focus. I didn't know what it meant but I always kept it in the back of my mind that I needed to see this film. PETULIA is based on a novel by John Haase called Me and the Arch Kook Petulia, adapted by Barbara Turner and written for the screen by Lawrence B. Marcus.

PETULIA is set in modern San Francisco during the psychedelic heyday (both Jerry Garcia of The Grateful Dead and Janis Joplin make musical appearances in the film) and it reminded me of another film a year later, director Mike Nichols THE GRADUATE (1969) with Dustin Hoffman. In THE GRADUATE, Hoffman is the uninterested, bored college graduate Benjamin Braddock, having a mid-life crisis at 21. In PETULIA, it's George C. Scott as middle-aged, newly divorced Archie Bollen, a doctor who's stuck in neutral during the middle part of his life.

The film opens at a swanky charity event for Highway Safety in San Francisco. Petulia Danner (Julie Christie) tries to start an affair with recently divorced doctor Archie Bollen (George C. Scott). Petulia is married to the rich but spoiled David Danner (Richard Chamberlain), a naval architect and scion of wealthy philanthropist Mr. Danner (Joseph Cotten). Archie and Petulia sneak away to a futuristic, cheap hotel. Archie doesn't take Petulia's advances seriously and they don't consummate the meeting. Petulia begins showing up everywhere Archie goes, on a passing cable car or at the zoo, even at the hospital Archie works at for a suspicious rib injury.  Archie's doctor friend Barney (Arthur Hill) is envious of Archie's freedom, wishing to divorce his wife Wilma (Kathleen Widdoes) just like Archie divorced his wife.

Archie got tired of being married but he's still friends with his ex-wife Polo (Shirley Knight).  Polo's confused by the divorce but she's already fallen in love with another man Warren Smith (Roger Bowen) and plans on marrying him. Archie's two boys like Warren too. This irritates Archie who realizes that he still needs to be a father to his two sons.  Archie tries dating, going out with the red headed May (Pippa Scott) but runs into Petulia again at the Golden Gate Park. Petulia confesses to Archie she's in an unhappy marriage and wants to divorce David. 

Archie and Petulia begin an affair. After taking his two sons out for the day on Alcatraz Island, Archie returns to his home to find Petulia savagely beaten in his bedroom. Petulia's husband David seems like the prime suspect but Archie can't convince Petulia to press charges.  Mr. Danner moves Petulia out of the hospital and cleans up his son David's mess. David fixes up his boat again and takes Petulia away to sail to Peru to try to patch up their marriage. When Archie finally sees Petulia again a year later, she's back at the hospital, only this time she's pregnant. Archie and Petulia rue their lost chance for love but make peace.  Petulia seems over Archie but as she's about to be sedated before giving birth, a hand caresses her cheek and she murmurs "Archie?"

On the surface PETULIA seems like a typical TV Movie of the Week plot but director Lester and cinematographer Nicholas  Roeg (who would become an acclaimed director himself) are quite daring in their approach to PETULIA.  The film is very surreal.  Lester and Roeg shoot the actors at times slightly out of focus or use a technique called rack focus that constantly changes the field of vision while making the previous object blurry. Is Petulia slightly out of focus because Archie isn't quite sure who she really is? Is she an angel as she floats upward on a funicular or a liar?

Lester also incorporates flashbacks and flash forwards, shifting time, with little context at first.  We see quick shots of scenes we haven't seen yet and scenes in the future before they've happened. There is a whole subplot about Petulia and David bringing back a Mexican kid Oliver (Vincent Arias) from a trip to Tijuana. David tires of the boy and throws him out. As Petulia buys a bus ticket back to Tijuana for Oliver, the boys runs out between two buses and is run over by a car, injuring the boy, bringing much guilt to Petulia.  Ironically, Archie treats Oliver in the hospital, not knowing his connection to Petulia until later. But we learn this back story in pieces. Cinematographer Roeg would use these shifts of time (past, present, and future) to great effect in his classic thriller DON'T LOOK NOW (1973) also starring Julie Christie. Screenwriter Lawrence B. Marcus would write another surreal film where you're never sure what's real and what's part of a movie within a movie in THE STUNT MAN (1978) starring Peter O'Toole.

More surrealism pops up with nuns who seem to be everywhere Archie goes. They do work at the hospital he works at but we see a gaggle of nuns on the Alcatraz tour, walking around Golden Gate park, and even piled into a car joy riding in a parking garage.  Are the nun's Archie's conscience?  A tuba becomes an Achilles heel for Archie as Petulia steals one and brings it to his home.  Archie tries to take it back but it barely fits in his car or the bus and the owner's not around when he tries to return it. Petulia almost sounds like peculiar. She definitely is the kook from the novel's title.

Director Lester captures the swinging late 60's in America nicely. Archie and Barney have lunch at a topless bar. Psychedelic murals on buildings. Hippies and and rock music show up periodically. But in the background, violence lurks. In Archie's apartment, news footage of the Vietnam War is always on the television. David Danner may beat his wife but even Archie unexpectedly shows a violent streak when he throws a bag of leftovers at Polo as she criticizes his apartment. Lester uses subliminal cuts at times to make a point. A night out with the family to a roller derby match becomes painful for Archie.  When a roller derby girl punches another girl, Lester has a quick flash cut to Petulia's beaten face and then back to Archie wincing in the crowd.

The casting is spot on as every actor seems to grasp their character and role in this surreal drama perfectly. Julie Christie was the It girl of the 60's and early 70's, winning an Academy Award for DARLING (1965) and working with prestigious directors like David Lean in DR. ZHIVAGO (1965) , Francois Truffault in FAHRENHEIT 451 (1966), and Robert Altman in MCCABE AND MRS MILLER (1971). She often played desirable, carefree women with a dark secret and Petulia Danner is another terrific character in Christie's career. Petulia claims she's incorruptible and that money can't buy her but the Danner family has her wrapped around their finger.

George C. Scott is perfect as the perplexed Archie, suffering through mid-life malaise, a bit out of focus with his personal life and family. Archie seems desensitized to love, as anti-septic in his relationships as the hospital he works at. This is a great role for Scott who audiences were more accustomed seeing as a military commander in films like DR. STRANGELOVE (1964) and PATTON (1970). Richard  Chamberlain is excellent as the beautifully narcissistic David Danner, the architect who can restore a beautiful boat or beat his wife almost to death.  As Petulia says to David, "I turned those gentle hands into fists. You were the gentlest man I ever knew." The great Joseph Cotten, one of Orson Welles favorite actors, has a couple of nice scenes as David's father and patriarch of the dysfunctional Danner family. He covers up his son's monstrous acts by raising money for charity. Mr. Danner is elitist, old San Francisco money, and he bullies anyone who tries to tell him what to do. The rest of the supporting cast is excellent and look for bit part from future television regular Howard Hesseman (as DJ Dr. Johnny Fever in WKRP IN CINCINNATI) as a hippie.

In PETULIA, Richard Lester brings a foreigner's eye to San Francisco and the American culture of the late 60's. With his cinematographer Nicholas Roeg, editor Anthony Gibbs, and a haunting, somber score by John Barry, Lester turns a seemingly melodramatic story into a surreal, mesmerizing tale of adults trying to figure out their relationships with loved ones and family.

Sunset Boulevard (1950)

There are many famous streets in the world.  New York has Broadway.  Paris has the Champs-Elysees. And then there is Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles, made famous forever by director Billy Wilder in his classic 1950 film SUNSET BOULEVARD. When I worked in the film business and Hollywood in the late 80's and early 90's, I drove up and down Sunset Boulevard many many times.  Sunset Blvd runs from downtown Los Angeles through Hollywood past Capitol Records and the Beverly Hills Hotel before twisting and turning all the way to the sparkling Pacific Ocean.

I have two Sunset Boulevard stories.  The first one I was crossing the street to pick up some scripts at a copy place on Sunset Blvd and there was a giant billboard of musician Elvis Costello. Crossing the street from across the way was the real Elvis Costello with a couple of friends.  They stopped in the middle of the street to stare up at his enormous billboard.  It was very surreal. The other story was having the opportunity to drive film director Michael Mann (LAST OF THE MOHICANS, HEAT) to his home which was on Sunset Blvd in the Pacific Palisades area of Los Angeles. I worked for Mann for about a year on a television mini-series called DRUG WARS: THE KIKI CAMERENA STORY (1990).

The real Sunset Boulevard can be viewed as a two-way street to Hollywood, a chance for an actor to be discovered by a casting director or a writer to have their script read and appreciated by a producer. Or Sunset Boulevard can be the road out of show business, where failures outnumber successes and stardom can fade as quickly as it shined. That is the scenario for director/co-writer Billy Wilder and his co-writers Charles Brackett and D.M. Marshman, Jr. in SUNSET BLVD.

SUNSET BLVD is an unusual film that doesn't fall into any specific genre. I would call it Hollywood Noir. It does have a murder that takes place but it's also a wicked behind the scenes look at the darker side of the film business. 1950 seemed to kick off a spate of films where Hollywood took an unflattering look at fame and celebrity in ALL ABOUT EVE (1950), THE BAD AND THE BEAUTIFUL (1952), and A STAR IS BORN (1954).

SUNSET BLVD may have one of the most unique, original opening scenes in film history as the film's narrator and main protagonist Joe Gillis (William Holden) is floating dead in a swimming pool. Gillis (remember he's dead) tells us in flashback that he's a B movie script writer in a bit of financial trouble. Behind on his car payments and repossessors at his door to take the car back, Gillis slips out of his apartment and heads to Paramount Studios to pitch an idea to a producer named Sheldrake (Fred Clark), hoping to sell it but studio reader Betty Schaefer (Nancy Olson) is not impressed with Gillis's story. Gillis next tries his agent but he refuses to loan Gillis any money either.  Heading back on Sunset, Gillis is spotted by the repossessors who chase after him. Gillis blows a tire and quickly pulls into a driveway off Sunset Blvd  and loses them. Gillis finds himself staring at an old, rundown Hollywood mansion owned by aging silent film actress Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson).

A bald, Teutonic butler named Max Von Mayerling (Erich Von Stroheim) ushers Gillis in. Gillis meets Norma for the first time. She's mourning the death of her beloved pet chimpanzee. Norma and Max think he's the undertaker, come to bury the monkey.  Gillis recognizes Norma.  "You used to be in silent pictures. You used to be big," Gillis says.  "I am big," Norma responds. "It's the pictures that got small."  He mentions he's a writer which catches Norma's interest. She's planning a major comeback, wishing to star in a movie version of Salome, to be directed by the great Cecil B. DeMille or so she thinks. She shows Gillis her script.  An idea comes to Gillis. He offers to help Norma rewrite her script, hoping to make some money off her, even though he knows her script is a piece of junk.

Norma has Max bring Joe's clothes and stuff from his apartment. He moves into a room above the garage. As Joe and Norma work on the script, Joe begins to learn more about the sad life of Norma Desmond. Once the queen of silent films, Norma lives like a recluse, watching her old films in her living room, surrounded by framed photographs of herself, playing cards with other real life silent film stars, "waxworks" as Gillis calls them such as Buster Keaton, Anna Q. Nilsson, and H.B. Warner. Gillis starts to become Norma's gigolo as she buys him new clothes and pays his rent back at his apartment. One night, at a New Year's Eve party at her home with a live quartet, Gillis discovers that Norma is falling for him as he is the only guest.  They fight and Gillis walks out.

Gillis catches a ride to another New Year's Eve party thrown by his friend Artie Green , an assistant director (Jack Webb from DRAGNET). Artie happens to be dating Betty Schaefer, the studio script reader, who's also at the party.  Betty likes one of Gillis's ideas and wants to write a screenplay with him. Gillis decides to leave Norma and asks Artie if he can move in with him for a few weeks. When he calls to have Max bring his clothes over to Artie's, Max tells him Norma has tried to kill herself again. Gillis reluctantly returns, unable to untangle himself from Norma's clutches. Norma and Gillis visit Paramount Studios as Norma meets with the real director Cecil B. DeMille to talk about her film return. Although happy to see Norma, DeMille has no intention of making her movie.  But he decides not to ruin Norma's visit or fantasy. Gillis secretly meets with Betty at night to work on their script. Norma finds out about their clandestine meetings at the studio.

Betty begins to fall in love with Gillis.  Betty is the first decent thing to happen to Gillis in a long time. Jealous, Norma calls Betty to tell her about Gillis and her. Gillis comes clean with Nancy, telling her to go back to Artie. Gillis realizes he won't sell himself out to Norma and her money and prepares to return to  Dayton, Ohio and write copy for the small ad agency he left, to regain his humanity he left on Sunset Boulevard. As Gillis leaves, Norma shoots him three times in the back and Gillis falls dead into her swimming pool.  As the police prepare to take her away, surrounded by cameras and the press, Norma Desmond descends her spiral staircase and walks straight toward the camera, uttering her famous line, "All right, Mr. DeMille. I'm ready for my close-up."

SUNSET BLVD is the closest thing to a cinematic novel with its brilliant use of visual metaphors. From the opening shot of dead leaves curled up against the words SUNSET BLVD on the curb, director Billy Wilder shows Norma Desmond's fantasy world as one of death and decay. Her mansion is rotting and ghostly, much like Norma's soul. Rats swim in her empty swimming pool when Gillis first arrives.  The tennis court is dilapidated. The wind whistles through her pipe organ like an ominous warning. She plays bridge with her fellow, forgotten silent films star friends who Gillis calls "her wax works." Norma's mansion is like a wax museum and she is the curator. Norma's bed is shaped like Cleopatra's barge but Norma is no Egyptian queen, rather a silent film star vampire.  When she floats down her long staircase to the waiting press and police in the film's finale, she even resembles Medusa with her arched eyebrows and wild hair. Joe Gillis first meets Norma mourning the death of her pet chimpanzee. Little does Gillis realize that he's about to become Norma's new pet monkey. When Gillis is shot by Norma, he falls into the ultimate show business status symbol - a swimming pool.  A pool means some one's made it big but for Gillis, it's the end of his short, insignificant career and life.

Besides Robert Altman's THE PLAYER (1992), no film has used real Hollywood players with such purposeful effect and irony. Beginning with Erich Von Stroheim as Norma's personal servant (and former first husband) Max Von Meyerling, director Wilder astounds in his silent film history and casting. Stroheim was a famous silent film director who directed GREED (1924) among others but his directing career all but ended when talking films took over. When Norma and Gillis watch one of her films one night, Wilder uses an actual silent film called QUEEN KELLY (1929) starring Gloria Swanson (who's playing Norma) and actually directed by Erich Von Stroheim.  What is reality and what is fiction in SUNSET BLVD? The "wax works" or silent films stars who play cards with Norma are all real former silent films stars playing themselves: Buster Keaton (THE GENERAL, 1926 ), Anna Q. Nilsson (MOLLY PITCHER, 1911)), and H.B. Warner (THE KING OF KINGS, 1927). Even gossip columnist Hedda Hopper shows up as herself at the end as the Norma Desmond scandal is about to break.

Another casting stroke of genius by Wilder is the great director Cecil B. DeMille playing himself. DeMille was a legendary silent film director who made a smooth transition to talkies and was famous for his Biblical epic films like SAMSON AND DELILAH (1949) and THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (1956). In SUNSET BLVD, Norma had worked with DeMille in silent pictures and believes DeMille wants to direct her comeback. Paramount has been leaving her messages but it's because they're interested in renting her fancy car, an Isotta Fraschini, for a film, not Norma Desmond. She visits DeMille at Paramount Studios, on the set of his latest biblical film. DeMille is gracious to Norma, glad to see an old friend, but he's pragmatic too and diplomatically has to reject her project.  In reality, DeMille and actress Swanson did work together in silent films.

Wilder saves his greatest stroke of genius for Gloria Swanson as the aging, forgotten silent film star Norma Desmond.  The ultimate insult for Norma is when she visits DeMille's set. A boom with a microphone brushes by her hat and she swats at the invention that all but ended her career. Swanson was a successful silent film actress who did make the jump from silent films to talking pictures. Although never a bona fide superstar, she was nominated for two Academy awards early in her talkies career as well as for SUNSET BLVD.  Swanson never stopped working in stage, film, and even television, although she took many breaks. SUNSET BLVD is her crowning achievement and it's hard to believe she lost the Best Actress nomination to Judy Holliday (for BORN YESTERDAY which I haven't seen).

For actor William Holden, SUNSET BLVD would launch his career to the next level. After his breakthrough role in GOLDEN BOY (1939), Holden toiled in unspectacular roles and films until he played Joe Gillis in SUNSET BLVD.  It's a tricky role, playing a young, struggling screenwriter reduced to accepting an older woman's money and gifts and affection because he can't sell a script. We empathize with Gillis and it's painful to watch when he finally finds redemption, he gets three bullets in the back for it. Holden would become a favorite of Wilder's and go on to collaborate with Wilder on STALAG 17 (1953), SABRINA (1954) and FEDORA (1978). Ironically, Holden also starred in BORN YESTERDAY (1950), the film that Judy Holliday won the Best Actress award for beating out Holden's SUNSET BLVD co-star Gloria Swanson. Rounding out the cast as the only two likable industry characters are Nancy Olson as Betty Schaefer, the reader and a young Jack Webb as Artie Green, Joe's assistant director friend. Hollywood hasn't corrupted either of them yet but it's only a matter of time. Jack Webb would go on to television fame as the by the book Sgt. Joe Friday in DRAGNET.

Director Billy Wilder, like Howard Hawks or Michael Curtiz, was successful in every genre he tackled. Many critics feel he made the best comedy ever (SOME LIKE IT HOT, 1959), the best war film (STALAG 17, 1953), the best film noir (DOUBLE INDEMNITY, 1944), and the best drama (THE LOST WEEKEND, 1945). Even today, actors, directors, and writers still thank Billy Wilder when they accept awards (as French director Michel Hazanavicius did at the 2012 Academy Awards while accepting Best Director for THE ARTIST, a film about silent films) and Wilder has been dead since 2002. I prefer Wilder's older black and white films to some of his later color classics. SUNSET BLVD has some great camerawork by John F. Seitz who worked on many Wilder films like DOUBLE INDEMNITY and FIVE GRAVES TO CAIRO (1943) as well as other film noirs like THIS GUN FOR HIRE (1942) and THE BIG CLOCK (1948). The crane shot reveal of the mansion as Gillis approaches it, following Norma down the staircase to the waiting police and press, and the close-ups of Norma Desmond are all beautifully done.

Having worked in the film business for six years, many things in SUNSET BLVD ring true. I had to drive up in the Hollywood Hills to a nice home overlooking the Sunset Strip to deliver a script to waiting actor/former NFL football player Jim Brown. Max Von Mayerling did not open the door but a pretty African/American woman maybe half Mr. Brown's age.  I wanted to be a screenwriter and wrote some scripts and maybe almost sold a couple but success eluded me. I had an agent at one time who overcommitted himself to too many clients, including me and was fired.  I drove and walked thru those gates at Paramount Studios, even pitched some ideas to an associate at producer Scott Rudin's production company. I probably drove by the apartment on Franklin and Ivar where Joe Gillis pounded away on his typewriter.

SUNSET BLVD's story is timeless in the world of show business. Movie stars, music stars, theater stars rise and fall just like Norma Desmond. Many buy big mansions and become recluses. Others get tripped up by their weaknesses: drugs, alcohol, and the excesses of celebrity. A star is only as good as their last hit movie or song.  A couple of career missteps and there's always another, younger star or writer to take their place. Everyone's a critic and everyone is ready to chip away at their success and bury them before the spotlight cools off. As the dead Joe Gillis says in voice over as the police fish him out of Norma Desmond's pool, "Funny, how gentle people get with you once you're dead."