Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

It was Christmas season and I was at my best friend's annual family Christmas party, the best Christmas party I've ever been to. We all got presents, the parents drank too much, and Santa Claus would make his yearly visit looking very much like my Dad's best friend Art.  But one year, I was more dazzled by what was on television than holiday gifts or egg nog or Santa Art.  DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971) was on television and I couldn't pull myself away from it.  Sean Connery was back as James Bond, this time in Las Vegas, battling his nemesis Blofeld once again only it was a different actor playing Blofeld (Charles Gray instead of Donald Pleasence or Telly Savalas).  There were car chases and sexy assassins Bambi and Thumper and oh yes, the voluptuous red head Jill St. John. I was in double O seventh heaven.

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER is the swan song for Sean Connery in his last appearance in a Broccoli/Saltzman production of James Bond. Connery had appeared in five of the first six Bond films so far (George Lazenby stepping in as Bond for 1969's ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE). Most of DIAMONDS takes place in Las Vegas which seems like a perfect location for the gambling/womanizing Bond. It's directed by Guy Hamilton who directed GOLDFINGER (1964), probably the best Bond film to date. The screenplay is by Bond veteran Richard Maibaum and newcomer Tom Mankiewicz who would bring some fun and levity to the Bond series. And some of the best talent involved with the Bond series are along for the farewell including Production Designer Ken Adam, Cinematographer Ted Moore, Composer John Barry, and the great Shirley Bassey (GOLDFINGER) who sings the catchy "Diamonds Are Forever" theme song over the opening credits.


For the first three quarters of the film, DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER is a funny, action packed, globe trotting Bond film that I rank as one of my favorites. The finale is a bit of a let down, perhaps the filmmakers hands tied by the location (an oil platform off the coast of  Baja) and some lazy direction and staging. DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER opens with James Bond (Sean Connery) chasing down leads on the whereabouts of his arch-nemesis Ernst Stavros Blofeld (Charles Gray). Bond finally tracks him down at a South American spa where Blofeld is attempting to make duplicates of himself. Bond disrupts the plot and supposedly kills Blofeld under a blanket of mud.  Back in London, Bond and M (Bernard Lee) meet with Sir Donald (Laurence Naismith) who is troubled by a rash of stolen diamonds in South Africa.  Instead of appearing on the black market, someone is stockpiling the diamonds. Even more distressing, everyone who touches the stolen diamonds ends up dead, courtesy of possibly cinema's first gay killers Mr. Kidd (Putter Smith) and Mr. Wint (Bruce Glover).

Bond's pursuit of the diamonds takes him from Amsterdam where (posing as a diamond courier) he picks up the stolen gems from the beautiful Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) to Las Vegas where he's nearly cremated at the Mort Slumber mortuary after delivering the diamonds (only Bond brings fake stones as insurance for his life). Teaming up with CIA agent Felix Leiter (Norman Burton, the 4th different actor to portray Leiter), Bond turns his attention to hotel and casino magnate Willard Whyte (singer and sausage spokesman Jimmy Dean), a Howard Hughes like millionaire who hasn't been seen in years.  Tiffany outfoxes the agents and gives the real diamonds to a confidant of Whyte, German scientist Dr. Metz (Joseph Furst). Bond follows Metz and the diamonds to one of Whyte's holdings, an aerospace company in the desert outside of Las Vegas.



Metz takes the diamonds to a lab to place on a satellite he's working on for Whyte.  After escaping through a mock Moon landing set, jumping into a moon rover, and chased by ATV's, Bond reports back to Felix his findings. When they return to the desert facility, it's empty.  Bond decides to pay a visit to the reclusive Willard Whyte catching a ride on top of  Whyte's private elevator to the top of his hotel where he supposedly resides. Inside, Bond discovers it's Blofeld who has hijacked Whyte's operations and impersonated Whyte (courtesy of a voice scrambler). Blofeld is behind the stolen diamonds and satellite. Blofeld still has another version of himself but Bond dispatches one of the Blofeld's leaving just one Blofeld remaining. After escaping yet another attempt by Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd to kill him, Bond and Felix raid Whyte's summer home  where they find the real Willard Whyte held hostage by Blofeld's female bodyguards Bambi (Lola Larson) and Thumper (Trina Parks).

Blofeld sends Whyte's right hand man Bert Saxby (Bruce Cabot) to kill Whyte at his summer home but Saxby's shot instead.  Blofeld sends the satellite into space, the diamonds used as a laser to destroy military targets and even cities unless his global extortion demands are met. Bond and Whyte return to the Whyte House (Whyte's hotel) to figure out Blofeld's whereabouts. When Bond mentions Baja, Whyte exclaims, "Baja! I haven't got anything in Baja!" Cut to an oil platform off the Baja coast where Bond parachutes in to defeat Blofeld and save Tiffany while Felix and several U.S. Army helicopters fire missiles to destroy the control center that operates the diamond laser satellite.


So what is it about DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER that captured the imagination of a young CrazyFilmGuy and kept him from participating at his favorite Christmas party? DIAMONDS has a fun, breezy vibe to it, moving from set piece to set piece, location to location at a good clip, not taking too long to unfold plot like THUNDERBALL (1965). It's very much in the same style as director Hamilton's previous Bond outing, the fantastic GOLDFINGER. The film has a nice helping of cleavage and fascinating characters one would expect to find in Las Vegas.  Although DIAMONDS is full of fights, chases, and explosions, it's the dialogue, puns, inside jokes, double entendres and sexual innuendos that might be the best in the series. We know we're in for a good time from the beginning when a bad guy at a blackjack table tells the dealer "Hit me" and Bond gives him a right cross to the face.

We have a great opening prologue in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER that could serve as the finale for any Bond film with Bond supposedly dispatching Blofeld in a bubbling mud pool. But it's only a tease. We've got  two excellent Bond vehicle chases. First, we have Bond hopping into a moon buggy and chased by three ATVs (All Terrain Vehicles) out in the desert. Then, there's Bond and Tiffany racing a Mustang like Steve McQueen around downtown Vegas, chased by the local redneck cops (shades of LIVE AND LET DIE'S Clifton James to come) with Bond flipping the Mustang up on its side to escape through a narrow alley. DIAMONDS is the beginning of some great practical vehicle chases in Bond films after too many rear projection chases in the older films.


Assassins and killers also come in two's in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. We have the gay, odd assassins Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd who dispatch dentists and little old ladies with aplomb and wit. Wint and Kidd are like a murderous married couple. They will get their comeuppance on a cruise ship in a perfect ending to the film. Then, we have Go-Go girl killers Bambi and Thumper. These acrobatic hit women nearly kill Bond in their bikinis and short shorts as they hold Willard Whyte hostage. DIAMONDS reminds us that women are just as lethal as men in the world of James Bond.

Screenwriters Maibaum and Mankiewicz make DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER one of the more humorous Bond films in the series. The double entendres and inside jokes are fast and furious. When Tiffany asks Bond if he prefers blondes or brunettes, Bond remarks, "As long as the collar and cuffs match." Don't worry. I had to ask someone what it meant as well but the answer will make you chuckle. Later, when Bond hides the diamonds on the body of the dead courier at Customs, CIA agent Felix Leiter can't find them until Bond makes a crack about family jewels. I believe new writer Tom Mankiewicz brought a lot of these jokes to the film. He would continue the one liners and sexual innuendos when Roger Moore took over the Bond role. Mankiewicz would also write LIVE AND LET DIE (1973) and THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN (1974).

The filmmakers also have fun with an enigmatic legend of Las Vegas and a conspiracy theory.
Reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes (HH) lived in Las Vegas, owned hotels, casinos, and aerospace companies, and stayed out of the limelight later in life. DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER gives us millionaire hotel, casino, and aerospace magnate Willard Whyte (WW) played by Jimmy Dean who we hear about through most of the film but never see until toward the end.  We're led to believe the enigmatic Whyte may be up to no good. But his allusive nature stems from a more sinister reason.



Around the late 60s and early 70s, conspiracy theorists postulated that NASA and the government faked the moon landing, filming it instead on a television sound stage possibly by director Stanley Kubrick. This has never been proven . DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER has fun with this conspiracy at Whyte's aerospace facility. When Bond is discovered to be snooping around, he's chased by security guards. Bond stumbles across a soundstage where two astronauts are walking around a moon set. Bond almost does a double take before jumping into the moon rover to escape. It's a funny bit.

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER is a nice nostalgic viewfinder of Las Vegas circa 1970s. The car chase around the night time streets and casinos of Main Street was the main strip.  Now it's known as the old section of Las Vegas circa 2017. Hotels that appear in DIAMONDS like Circus Circus, the Mint, and the Tropicana no longer exist, torn down by demolition and expansion. In their place have risen modern hotels and casinos like the Wynn or the Monte Carlo. My first visit to Las Vegas in the early 80s, I specifically went into Circus Circus because I had seen it in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. Sadly, neither James Bond nor Tiffany Case were anywhere in sight.


The Bond films have always had inspired casting from Miss Universe beauty queens such as Daniela Bianchi (FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE) to former wrestlers like Harold Sakata in GOLDFINGER. With the series making its most significant foray into the United States, DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER has some of its most eclectic casting. Who would have imagined country western singer and sausage spokesman Jimmy Dean as the seemingly reclusive millionaire Willard Whyte? But it works. Jill St. John as Tiffany Case makes the jump from B movies like THE LOST WORLD (1960) to the first American actress to play a Bond girl. St. John is flirty and has good chemistry with Connery. The supporting Bond girl Lana Wood who plays Plenty O'Toole in DIAMONDS has an interesting six degrees of separation with St. John. Lana's sister was actress Natalie Wood. When Natalie Wood drowned off Catalina Island in 1981, she was married to actor Robert Wagner (PRINCE VALIANT). Wagner would later remarry...to Jill St. John, making St. John and Lana Wood sisters-in-law (which would not go well).

Some familiar faces from the golden age of cinema also appear in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. Bruce Cabot who would battle King Kong for Fay Wray in KING KONG (1933) plays Whyte's traitorous lieutenant Bert Saxby.  And film noir veteran Marc Lawrence (THE ASPHALT JUNGLE) appears as one of Blofeld's henchmen.  Even Las Vegas comedian Leonard Barr makes a brief cameo as Shady Tree, another colorful Vegas performer working for Blofeld. Look for actress Valerie Perrine (LENNY) as one of the showgirls standing next to Shady Tree during his opening act.

This would be Sean  Connery's last go around as James Bond in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (unless you count his return as Bond in Irvin Kershner's 1982 NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN, a remake of THUNDERBALL). James Bond would make Sean Connery an international movie star. Connery would define the James Bond role. He would make white dinner jackets, martinis shaken not stirred, and Aston Martins forever popular. In my opinion, he will always be the best 007. Connery gives his best for his final performance in a Broccoli/Saltzman Bond production, tongue firmly in cheek. Connery would continue to have a fantastic career appearing in hit films like John Huston's THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING (1975) and Brian DePalma's THE UNTOUCHABLES (1987) in which Connery would win the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor.

I had raved how great Donald Pleasence was as Blofeld in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (1967) but I have a soft spot for Charles Gray's take as Blofeld in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. Pleasence's Blofeld was more cold and sinister with that vertical scar across his eye. Gray's Blofeld is a bit more cuddly, white haired and urbane, with a better sense of humor and irony (again I feel writer Mankiewicz's hand involved). Because of the whole plastic surgery subplot, Blofeld can look different in DIAMONDS. He doesn't have the bald dome or scar (Sam Mendes' SPECTRE would reveal how Blofeld received that scar). If DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER had come out a few years later, Blofeld could have just cloned himself instead of creating surgically altered doubles. Charles Gray also appeared in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE as Henderson, a British agent over in Japan. It was a very brief appearance i.e. he's killed quite quickly. Gray's Blofeld is a memorable role and one of the main reasons I love DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER.
As enjoyable as DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER is for three quarters of the film, the climactic siege of Blofeld's oil platform is a let down of epic proportions.  YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE had huge explosions and somersaulting stunt men. DIAMONDS has poorly choreographed action and stunts.  Blofeld's security is as lax as his tongue when Bond parachutes onto the platform. Blofeld is overly confident and pretty much lets Bond sabotage his master plan. It's a bad lapse in judgment by the filmmakers.  They redeem themselves with one final scene as Bond sniffs out (literally) the deadly team of Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd on his cruise with Tiffany, disposing of the gay assassins.

Although the final climactic battle is weak, the majority of DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER is the perfect film to wrap up Sean Connery's portrayal as British agent James Bond. After countless fights with assassins like Red Grant and Oddjob, numerous confrontations with arch villains like Dr. No and Ernst Stavros Blofeld, and endless romantic encounters with the likes of Honey Ryder, Pussy Galore, and Tiffany Case, it was time for Connery to move on with the next stage of his career and hand over the reins to the Bond series to the next James Bond -- Roger Moore. I wonder if SPECTRE sent Connery any balloons or a singing telegram or a cake to bid their sworn enemy goodbye.

No comments:

Post a Comment